


Wake Up

by garbagecat



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, High School AU, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Most of the things that happens to them or that they do happened to me in high school, Pot smoking for sure, Slow Build, They also drink heavily, They're all shitheads, everyone hooks up with danny though so thats a plus, this is my ode to remembering it and thanking god its over
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2018-11-02 10:33:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10942698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garbagecat/pseuds/garbagecat
Summary: The high school AU that nobody asked for





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from a band called Arcade Fire. Please listen to it. I have the best memories of my young adult life playing along with the entire Arcade Fire album. Seriously, any song off of Funeral I could probably sing to you without thinking. But most vividly this song in particular, with the windows rolled down all the way, going 70 on the interstate at midnight, and screaming along to the chorus.

Stiles parked the jeep in the McCall driveway and prayed to every higher power that Mama McCall had already left for work. Her black Honda Accord was absent from the driveway but that DID NOT mean she wasn’t there. He learned that lesson. Plus, he would feel like shit if she came out of the house in her nice-cute-motherly scrubs and busted him packing a bowl in her driveway. Again.

He was caught up in thinking about his personal favorite pair of her scrubs, they had a bunch of frogs holding hearts over their heads that said ‘I love you’, when heard the screen door smack shut. He snapped his head up to see Scott bounding down his front porch to the jeep a surly expression tugging on his jaw and Stiles instantly knew that his weekend was probably terrible. Scott wasn’t the type to ever express a negative emotion. Or negative thought. He radiated positivity. It was awful sometimes.

Scott threw open the jeep door and tossed his backpack to the back seat and he could tell that he wasn't in a good mood. Scott didn’t do anything with a malicious intent. He was a goddamn saint.

He had to test the waters. “Did you have a fun weekend with Raef?”

“Fuck you, dude. I’m literally not in the mood to discuss that asshole.” Then made a grab for the pipe, “let me take the first hit, I deserve it.”

Stiles handed the pipe and a lighter over without a question, he knew Scott deserved first hit. Scott always deserved the first hit. He sparked the bowl and took a deep inhale and coughed out a little smoke, still trying to hold it in but then exhaled and coughed more, “fuck dude, is this the shit from last week?”

“Yeah, why?”

Scott coughed more and scrunched his face, his eyes now watering, “because that shit really messed us up and it’s kind of stale.”

Stiles took the bowl and lighter back from him and took a hit. He let the smoke settle in his lungs nice and tight before he blew it out slowly through his nose. It burned like hell but that’s what he wanted, there was a sick pleasure in the pain from smoking and he loved the burn in his lungs and the tightness from holding back a cough. “Well, as you know, my dear Scott McCall, no one will sell to the sheriff’s kid and you decided to go pow-wow with your dad this weekend so I was completely screwed on getting weed.”

“Why didn’t you call Derek?”

Stiles just let his expression go blank, he needed to remain as neutral as possible or Scott would ask questions, questions he didn’t want to answer or think about. “I hate him so much. You know that.”

Stiles passed the pipe back to Scott and saw him give the most coy smile, “No you don’t. You probably have such a big crush on him and this is your weird angry foreplay with him.”

Stiles couldn’t help the heat that spread across his chest, it was a combination of embarrassment and horniness, he didn't need his dick clubbing up at the mere mention of Derek. He knew deep down that he should have jacked off before school but he wanted to get high instead and was absolutely unwilling to wake up earlier than absolutely necessary. He’d jerk it once he got home, like always. 

Scott took a deep hit and relaxed into the seat, blowing the smoke straight above him. Stiles wanted to scold him for blowing smoke in the car but he couldn’t, it was Scott. “No, he’s such a prick. He seriously treats me like garbage, and you’ve seen it so don’t even.” 

Scott just shrugged his shoulders, and gave the pipe back. He knew he couldn’t deny that, he had seen first hand how rude Derek was to him. “I think it’s just his way of showing his affection.” 

There was an inflection on the end of that sentence so he didn’t know if Scott was saying as a question or a statement. "Well thanks for the sage wisdom, Obi-Wan.” He looked down at the bowl and pouted, “I think it’s cashed.”

Scott let his shoulders slump against the tough leather of the jeep, “then we better get to the good ol’ Beacon Hills High before I get detention and I’m stuck doing suicides and 2-a-days for the rest of my life.”

Stiles snorted. Fucking lacrosse. He could laugh at the fact that he was still even part of that shit show of a sport and he could care less about actually being part of it, but ever since he made it to midfielder, his father had started making him care. Then he looked at his backseat and actually let out a full-belly laugh, he felt the high starting to permeate his thoughts and the cottonmouth settle on his tongue, “I forgot my crosse so it doesn’t matter for me.”

Then he threw the jeep in reverse and looked ahead into the rear-view mirror so he couldn’t see Scott laughing in the passenger seat next to him. 

^^^

The high was not a good high. Not at all. He wanted to get out of this school and get home and sleep it off. He was about to get in trouble. Fuck. His dad was going to be so pissed. He knew everyone knew he was high. They could tell he was baked and then they'd tell their teachers. He was screwed. Fuck, his eyes were probably red.

He couldn’t leave though, he had to endure this timed writing. It was a major grade and he was already on the cusp of falling below an A in this stupid AP English class. What if he failed the timed writing? He'd have a B and his father would get pissed and know he was high. He could not have his father staring at him with those sad eyes again. He could not have him mention how disappointed his mother would have been. It would be too much. Too fucking much.

This kind of high was making the anxiety run high, too. Making him think about his mom. God damn this wasn't going to be good. He stared at the pieces of paper on his desk and forced himself to stop thinking about his mother and his father and how disappointed they both were. But the staring and the even breathing couldn’t calm down or focus on anything. He was so fucked. 

He leaned over his desk to tap the girl next to him, “Hey. Torie.”

She turned around, all curls, icy blue eyes, and a bright smile piercing his bloodshot dry eyes, “What’s up, Stiles.”

She was too cheerful. She was too fucking bright. She needed to tone it down. It was 9 in the morning. Why are you this happy this early? “Yeah- Uh- Do you know what the writing is over today?”

“Well, I think it’s Dante’s Inferno but it could be The Crucible.” 

The lined paper started moving below him and he had to whisper to himself to keep his chill. Torie was still staring intently at him. He didn't want to be rude and tell her to turn around and mind her business but that was his go-to response right now. 

"If it's over Dante's just explain the symbols of Christianity thought the book."

He couldn't face her, the lines were moving too much and if he blinked then he could miss the movement. "Oh, thanks."

The echo of heels clacking against the tiles pulled him from his thoughts, "Alright class, let's get ready for the timed writing." There she was in all her falcon like glory, Mrs. Goodman. She was the epitome of a hawk and treated her students like mice that she was eventually going to eat. He loved her for intense scariness alone. She reminded him of his ancient Polish grandma who would slap Stiles’ knuckles every time he got out of line. She stepped in front of the whiteboard and clasped her hands in front of her, like the little old teacher that she was. "As you know by now, these timed writings mimic the AP test you'll be taking in a few months." 

The whole class groaned in unison. Ah, sweet solidarity.

She walked over to her desk and picked up the slip of paper so she could write the prompt on the board. 'Why does Dante so highly admire Nature or anything natural? And if the natural is so good, why are the incontinent sinners – who only follow their natural instincts – condemned to Hell?' 

By the time the timed writing was over, Stiles knew he was going to fail. 

But something else caught his eye first. The notebook paper he was writing on was way too long compared to normal notebook paper. 

He separated the pieces and realized that he wrote on the entire first page, started writing in the middle of the second page and then a little bit on the third and final page. 

“Fuck.”

He handed in the three pieces of papers and hoped that Mrs. Goodman would understand that he's just an overzealous and eager writer. 

He left the classroom before she could bust him and sniff the pot off his clothes and rip his throat out with her talon like hands. He sprinted down the flight of stairs to get to the parking lot so he could escape this literal hell-hole. He managed to avoid the guards at the front of the parking lot. His phone buzzed as soon as he sat his ass down in the comfortable leather of his jeep. Sweet fucking freedom. His clutched the steering wheel and pressed his head against the cool metal of the rusty old steering wheel and stared at his phone.

Scott: Where are u?

Me: Had to leave. Goodman almost busted me.

Scott: Youre skipping lacrosse? Coach is going to lose it. 

Me: Yeah he'll be fine without me. I’ll pick you up after practice though.

Scott: Cool. 

Bless his dear friend’s heart. Sweet, naive, Scott McCall, he’d never skip class unless it was life or death- or an orthodontist appointment. He was such a good person. It made Stiles sick sometimes. He was almost too good of a person. 

^^^ 

He didn’t want to ask but he had to. He had to. He bumped into Scott before he ran up the center field to get the ball, “Where’s Stiles?”

Scott shrugged his shoulders. “Skipped, I guess.” 

Derek thought that Stiles would at least text him if he was going to skip, he might have skipped with him. 

He just muttered, “Cool,” and sprinted to catch up with Jackson and Mike. 

^^ 

“I can’t believe Stilinski didn’t show his face today. Must’ve gotten uglier over the weekend. Faggot.”

Derek threw his gear on the floor with excessive force. He glanced to his side and saw that Danny had done the same thing. 

Jackson caught himself and tried backpedaling, and then scoffed, “You know, I didn’t mean that in an offensive way.”

Danny jabbed him hard in the ribs with his crosse and Derek could only snicker and watch, “Don’t you ever use someone’s sexuality as a fucking insult, you prick.” 

“I didn’t mean to offend you.” And sneered at Derek.

“Don’t you fucking dare try to cover up your offensive remark. You will never insult someone for something that they can’t help. Wanna call Stilinski annoying? Hell yeah he is. Wanna call him an asshole? Go for it.” Danny stepped closer to Jackson, his nose brushing his and Jackson refusing to make eye-contact, “Don’t use my sexuality as an insult.” 

Then Danny backed away, “Besides, weren’t you the one saying this past weekend that ‘you had to admit that he had gotten hotter’?”

Derek swore he could feel a roar building up inside of him at the mention of someone looking at Stiles with sexual intent. Everyone knew Stiles had gotten hotter. It wasn’t big news. He finally learned how to style his hair and learned what type of jeans looked good with his lanky legs. That happened to almost everyone as they aged. But everyone also knew that he had a huge dick thanks to his bitchy and really hostile ex-girlfriend Heather, but she also started saying that he was shitty in bed. Which wasn't fair, Derek thought to himself, it was high school! Everyone was shitty in bed. Then rumors of his hook-up with Lydia could never be confirmed or denied and it only made Stiles hotter. He was an enigma at the school and nobody knew if they wanted to fuck him or be his friend.

Despite his best efforts to keep his feelings at a dull ache, Derek wanted him. Derek wanted to go down on him, to rim him for hours, to fuck him hard, to be fucked by him, and that wasn’t going to happen so he needed to stop. Plus, it was high school, nobody did stuff like that yet. 

Jacksons awful voice broke his thoughts, “Why do you look so constipated, Hale?”

Danny chimed perfectly in, “He’s thinking about Stilinski's dick.”

Derek took off his sweaty shirt and threw it at Danny, “Shut up. That’s nasty.” 

Jackson scoffed and walked away at the mention of Stiles’ genitals but Danny honed in on him as soon as he left. “Do you actually like him?”

Stiles was straight, he was also rapidly becoming his best friend and all Derek wanted to do was relieve this sexual tension about him. Sure, he got hotter over last summer, but he was also one of the nicest and funniest people that Derek had ever met. He just needed to jerk off or get really good head and this obsession for him would die immediately. 

Not many people knew that Derek’s sexual appetite included guys, even Stiles had no idea, but those who did understood that it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about- not that he was ashamed or anything. “No, of course not, but hey, would you-,”

Danny pulled off his shirt and pulled on a clean white one that smelled like his cologne and fresh linen. Danny's tanned skin shined with sweat from the practice and Derek swallowed the lump in his throat and thought about The Crucible more intensely than he'd ever thought about it in his life. Danny knew what he was thinking and yanked him in by his hips so he could grind against him, in a teasing way. Derek couldn’t help but feel his balls tighten at the contact, Hester Prinn was no longer cutting it. His breath caught in his throat, as Danny whispered, “Do you still need me to help you figure out your sexual crisis?”

Then he scraped his fingers down from his collarbone to his nipple and Derek could only let the blood rush straight to his dick. He couldn’t speak properly so all he could say was, “Um, yes.”

“You can come over later if that’s what you’re asking. It doesn’t put me out to hook up with a guy that looks like you.” 

Then Danny sauntered, yes, sauntered away from him like he hand won Derek. Even though he had won Derek a while ago. 

Derek remembers the party he was at, where he finally worked up the courage to touch Danny. He had started pre-gaming before school had even ended. He can remember going to Danny’s house and then he blacked out until about 2 am when he woke up to Danny crawling into bed next to him.

Danny turned on his side to face derek, his breath coming out evenly and stale from the Malibu and pineapple mixers.“You blacked out before the party even started.”

Derek remembers putting his hand on his thigh and then after that he knew that boys were a possibility for him. Especially when he put Danny’s dick in his mouth and he thought ‘wow this isn’t bad at all.’ 

^^^

Scott: Are u here?

Me: omw. Why?

Scott: Derek looking for u?

Me: Gross.

Scott: He’s pissed you skipped.

Me: He can go fuck himself that’s for sure.

Stiles rolled through the second stop sign and wished someone would pull him over at this point. Where was Beacon Hills PD? Honestly? He was going to have to give his father a stern lecture at some point because this was a travesty. Most deputy's lived for being able to pull Stiles over and then making him explain himself to his father, they loved it. And now, here he was running every stop sign in the town. 

Fucking Derek Asshole Hale. The prick, only started hanging with him and Scott this past summer because Jackson was in Tahoe, Danny was fucking his new boy-toy, and Boyd was playing house with Erica. He was just using him so he wouldn’t be alone, that’s all he meant to Derek. A means of escape. So now he thought and assumed that he just would do whatever Stiles and Scott did and that was not the case. Sure, he thought Derek was hot, his family was chill, and his personality was okay, but other than that he was the worst. Scott has a savior complex so when he saw a bored Derek Hale playing at the park all by his lonesome, Scott just had to invite him over to smoke and hang out. 

Fucking Scott.

But really it was stupid Derek Hale. 

It was so annoying that Derek thought that he was even remotely friends with them. 

He and Stiles argued more than they actually spoke. It usually got heated after 20 minutes of playful banter and would end in either Derek leaving abruptly and slamming the door or Stiles doing the same. So, he treated Stiles like the scum on the bottom of his shoe and then he had the audacity to look like Christ came down and said, “Let’s ruin Stiles’ sexuality” and then created Derek.

When he finally got done rolling through all of the stop signs in Beacon Hills- seriously where the fuck was the police- he pulled into the high school parking lot and got as close to the lacrosse field as he could. 

The lacrosse field was nestled between the baseball field and the football field so he wasn't able to get a front row view of their practice, which he guessed was pretty brutal since it was a Monday and coach never really liked Monday's but he was able to see the first of the lacrosse players leaving. 

He saw Derek and Danny walking out together their black nike bags slung over one shoulder and their lacrosse sticks dangling low enough for them to drag the ground and make that horrific scratching noise. He saw Matt pushing Jacob and calling him an asshole and then Jacob retaliating by throwing a cleat at him. Then he finally saw his favorite person, Scott, who looked really upset for some reason. There was an overwhelming and extremely violent urge to get out of the car and demand to know what happened and who hurt him but that didn't seem very chill. 

So he patiently waited in the car until Scott got close enough to start searching for the Jeep. Scott finally pulled his head up and saw him immediately, when he caught sight of it he started waving frantically, a smile lighting up his whole face. Scott's troubles forgotten immediately. But Stiles didn't forget it. Oh no. 

Scott tossed his gear in the back and gave Stiles one of his most famous crooked smiles and asked, "What's up buddy?"

Stiles shook his head, "Oh no, what's up with you? You looked upset just a second ago." 

Scott's face fell. His eyebrows creasing and his posture slouching. "I saw Isaac." 

"Scott, bud-" 

Scott's face snapped back to his cheerful demeanor, something lingering behind his normally playful expression. "Stiles, it's fine. I'm not the one who cheated." 

He put his arm around his shoulders, "don't be pissed at me for saying this but I'm honestly certain that Ally didn't cheat." 

Stiles saw Scott's eyes roll. 

Stiles shifted the jeep into drive and thought of how many more stop signs he was going to roll through. 

^^^

Danny was such a shithead sometimes. He knew how keyed up Derek was. He'd been hard since lacrosse practice and as soon as they got into Danny's room, Danny sat down on his bed and pulled out his AP physics book. 

Derek was in the midst of unzipping when Danny asked, "What are you doing?" 

"I thought we were hooking up?"

Danny laughed, "oh, we are but I plan on going to Dartmouth and that's way more important to me than getting my dick serviced." 

"What?" 

"Yeah, I have to maintain my GPA or I might be stuck going to a state school and being forced to continue my existence in this shitty, ass crack of a state." He opened his textbook and pulled out his highlighter, "so I'm going to finish this chapter and then we are so getting down." 

Derek rolled his eyes and adjusted his boner. Fuck. Then he thought about the AP English project due in a month and thought that he should at least study while waiting for Danny. Stupid Danny. He couldn't believe the guy he was about to hook up with was subtly forcing him to study before they dove right in. 

"So is it weird?" 

"Is what weird?"

"You know," Danny dragged the highlighter across the page, making it squeak and Derek had to cringe at that wretched sound, "being friends with Stiles and Scott." 

"You're friends with them, too"

"No, I mean, duh. We've all been friends with each other since kinder. I get that, it's a small town, we have to be friends with each other. But none of us have ever been part of their world. They're so close, they don't even have to speak in order to understand each other. When his mom died-", Danny cut himself off. No one talked about that. When his mom died it was the most devastating things that had happened to the community. Everyone went to the funeral. Everyone saw the little boy staring at nothing, his head shaved, his eyes refusing to cry. "Scott took almost 3 weeks off of school after that happened. That's how close they are." 

"I'm not really part of it though." 

"You're closest out of all of us, except Lydia, but that's a whole other story honestly." 

Derek laughed, "Nah, you don't really see it. Stiles doesn't like me." 

Danny capped his highlighter and shut his book. He turned on his side to face Derek and gave him a wink. "I think I can take a break from physics for a moment, if you can tear yourself away from your Anthology of American poetry book." 

Derek threw the book of the bed and curled close to Danny so he could get on top of him and kiss his neck. 

For the first time in weeks he wasn't thinking about Stiles and all the impossible fantasies he had built up in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The getting high in AP English happened to me directly and it was horrible.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, he can justify the 5 p.m. vodka shot that he took as soon as he got home from school but he is having a little trouble justifying the 4 that he took during school between all of his classes. He wasn’t fucked up really, but he was taking his pre-gaming a little too far. He deserved it though- he reasoned with himself! He had a rough week filled with lacrosse sprints, timed writings, history lectures, and then the Cornell notes, the calculus homework, and physics homework alone was enough to kill a small person. 

He did it though, he was up until 1am every morning working to get it over with and he did it. 90% of the time he had Lydia on facetime who was encouraging him ‘not to be a fucking baby and get it over with’- she was such an inspiration. 

So, the pre-gaming was from such a rough week but also because there was a party at Lydia’s house since her parents were away for the weekend visiting her older sister Claire at Duke- yes, he was well aware of how fucking bright and intelligent the whole Martin family was. 

He had pouted at Lydia on Facetime the night before that he didn’t want to go because he was going to be alone the whole time. 

“Stiles, don’t be a fucking baby.”

“Scott’s not going to be there.”

She glared at him through the facetime screen, “So what? You’ll have me, and Danny, and Derek, and Malia, and all kinds of people.”

He rolled his eyes and went back to the notes he was working on. 

So his social anxiety was also to blame for his over the top pre-gaming as well if he was going to be honest with himself- if he was going to have a really honest look at himself. 

He drove over to Lydia’s and walked into her house and up to her room without even knocking and threw himself on her bed, her lavender lotion filling his nostrils as his face buried into her pillow. 

“Shit, Stiles!” She clutched her heart. “You scared me! What if I was naked or something?”

“That would have been a nice little party favor for me.”

She walked across the room and swatted him on the back of the head. “Why are boys so nasty?” 

“You love it.”

She sat down at her vanity across from the bed and looked at him from the mirror, “Please, take your shoes off if you're going to lay in my bed.”

He let out a grunt and toed his shoes off with the most minimal amount of movement. “When does the party start?” 

Lydia smacked her lips and wiped a smudge of lipstick off her bottom lip. “I told people to get her once it got dark.”

Stiles chuckled, “How vague.”

She turned around and smiled at him. She got up and ruffled through her closet before coming over to Stiles and whispering in his ear to take a nap, then he felt the press of her lips against his forehead and he was drifting off to sleep. 

^^^

Truthfully, the only reason why he was going to this party was to A) fulfill his duties of being a good friend to Danny and B) check on Stiles. He had been AWOL this whole week and it was a little distressing. Sure, they had AP government together but Stiles wasn’t really present at all that week. His eyes had been glazed over from exhaustion or from being too high, he wasn’t his normal sarcastic self and it was worrisome. He didn’t catch Stiles smiling at him once, which was weird for them. Over the past couple weeks Stiles had been slowly opening up to him, catching Derek’s stare and then rolling his eyes when the teacher would get the information wrong and sometimes winking at him when he’d raise his hand to correct the teacher. 

He wanted to make sure that their was no animosity between them and that Stiles at least knew Derek would be there for him if he needed him. Like a good friend- not like some creepy stalker that wanted to get into his pants. 

By the time he and Danny even got to Lydia’s house the party had been going on for a few hours. Nothing too big, of course (It was Beacon Hills, not Beverly Hills). It wasn't like her house had been trashed but there were some obvious signs that people were there. At any given moment there was a bustle of people going in and out of her house and that meant the party had been going for a few hours at least. 

Lydia was lucky her house was in the cul-de-sac adjacent to the preserve, there was no way the police would be present at any of her parties unless someone called the party in, which had happened, which then prompted the sheriff to speak with every student's parents, personally, but it wouldn’t happen tonight. He had faith in it. 

As they entered the house, passing through the foyer, he marveled at how respectful everyone was when it came to people's houses for a party. It was an unspoken rule amongst the students of Beacon Hills. You treat the house with respect and there would be a possibility of being able to come back. There were a lot of unspoken rules between them. Their lives were built and formed around those unspoken rules. 

Derek spotted Lydia and went to her first. She smiled as he approached her a grin forming on his face as well. "Hey, babe." He bent down and kissed the side of her head with a gross smacking sound. 

"Hey to you, too."

"How's it going so far?" 

"Not too bad, but hey-", she said as she pulled him into the kitchen, shooing out all of the other kids lingering by the keg and cooler full of beers, "Can you do me a solid?"

Derek shrugged. He felt like she already knew the answer but it was just asked to humor her. "Of course." 

She pulled him by the collar to the figure gesticulating wildly in front of a few people outside on back porch. "Take care of him tonight please." 

He could tell by the narrow waist and khakis that it was Stiles but he had no idea what she even meant. She slapped him on the ass- indicating that he needed to take care of it now. And walked away from him, grabbing a beer and cracking it open with her long elegant nails. 

He pulled open the back door and there was Stiles. When he walked out he turned to stare at him. 

"Der!" He slurred, his skinny arms enveloping Derek into a tight hug. "Where you been?" He whispered into his ear.

Derek looked behind him to see the group he was talking to with horrified expressions across their faces. A girl he knew from physics was waving her hands and mouthing the words, HE'S TALKING ABOUT HIS MOM. And Derek just clung to him tighter. 

"Hey," he squeezed his waist, "want to sit down? Lets sit down!" 

The group of people he was talking to bolted in any direction they could go, away from Stiles and away from this conversation. He had never seen a group of people run that fast in his life. Yeah, that's the last time Callie Cartwright was copying his Physics homework. 

"Derek, you don't know this," he swayed, his legs buckling and forcing all of his weight onto Derek, "I was going to be a big brother." 

Derek didn't question it, he just needed him to keep talking until he sobered up. He looked at his dropping lids and flushed cheeks. He rubbed his hands up and down Stiles' forearms to try and ward off the evening chill. "You were?" 

He slung Stiles into one of the adirondack chairs and pulled another closer so he could sit in it and be close enough to monitor him. 

"It was a girl. Baby tiny girl." 

This couldn't be true, the sheriff would have said something. His mom would have said something too. They had too many friends, they couldn't have kept it secret. The community was way too involved in everyone's lives. 

"Like," he hiccuped, his eyes falling closed, "it was a huge surprise. My mom was buying pink blankets, bows, and buying me the 'I'm a big brother' shirt. Just waiting until they could tell everyone." 

He stopped talking. Derek was too stunned to say anything, how could she have gotten away with being pregnant and nobody knowing. Stiles was sincere, the anguish in his voice was truly painful to hear. Derek extended his hand to Stiles' shoulder, trying to give him some comfort. 

"Mom knew there was something wrong in like the, 2nd trimester or something- stopped kicking or something. She was right. They found a severe deformity in her lungs or heart or something. The doctor had said that once she was born she'd die almost immediately." 

Derek had to look away from him. He couldn't look at Stiles face anymore. Stiles who watched his mother died and came back to school an entirely different child. It was too fucking painful to even think about.

"Doctor said she could abort it and save herself the trouble of having to go through with the birth but my mom said no. She gave birth the summer of my first grade year and I got to hold Scarlett for an hour." 

He had so many questions. But the only thing he could think to say was, "You would've been a great big brother."

Stiles nodded to himself. "She had blonde hair, not like me at all. She had my eyes though. I told her all the things we were going to do. I told her that I would help her pull her teeth and let her sleep in my bed and ride my bike." 

"I took her baby hands in mine and showed her how to count to ten. But then she started making this noise and my dad plucked her from my arms and shuffled me to side and told me that we weren't taking her home. Dude, I was so fucking confused. Like, they kept telling me that Scarlett wouldn't be able to come home with us once she was born. It wasn't a surprise but what 6 year old understands that? Especially once you held her? Once she was actually tangible." 

"I kept trying to tell my dad that I'd give up my Pokemon cards or that I'd share my room with her but he just shook his head." 

Derek thought about Cora. About how much fun he had growing up with her. Their mud pies, broken bones, and bloody noses. He wished Stiles had that. He wished he had that with his little sister who only lived for a few moments. 

"After she died I didn't talk about her. I was so mad at my mom and dad. I didn't realize it was anger until I was older and had to go to therapy but I mean. I held her and I wanted to be a brother and I thought that my mom and dad were the reason I couldn't." 

There was sorrow in the pit of his stomach, he wanted to cry for Stiles, for Scarlett, for missing out on how great of a brother he would have been. "I'm so sorry, Stiles." 

"The cherry on top of the worst part of the whole shitstorm is that her death is what triggered my mom's disease." 

"Fuck, Stiles." 

"Why does this shit keep happening?"

The tears were leaking from his closed eyes and instantly, he knew he had to get him out of there. 

"I'm going to get you a beer, okay?" Stiles looked away and he had to shake him a little to get his attention. "Stiles, is that okay?"

Stiles shook his head weakly and Derek ran to the kitchen and dialed Scott's number. There was no answer so he dialed again and again until he picked up. 

"Hey, Derek." He sounded tense.

"Scott, I know you're at work but I'm having an issue, okay, it's Stiles. He's- uh- he's talking about things." 

There was silence on the other line and Scott finally asked, "What kind of things?" 

Derek swallowed the nervousness and looked at Stiles still sitting in the chair, his head leaning to the side but his chest heaving with harsh breaths. "He's talking about Scarlett."

"Derek, get him out of there. Take him to your house or his house. It doesn't matter." 

"Okay-" 

"You need to stay with him, okay? You need to literally hold him until he falls asleep or he'll be restless and awful." 

"So it's true? He actually had a sister?"

"Yeah." 

"Holy shit." 

"Yeah, hey, I really have to go, okay. Please keep Stiles safe for me. I'll come get him as soon as I'm off. Maybe I can ask Deaton to get there earlier." 

"It's okay. He'll go to sleep when he gets to my house, right? So I'll stay with him. I promise." 

He could tell Scott was hesitating on the other end. "Okay. But text me if there's any issue."

"Okay. I got him." He clicked his phone shut. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge for him instead of a beer. 

"Hey!" 

Stiles lolled his head to the side of where Derek was talking to him. "Der, I don't feel good." 

"Here," he twisted the cap off the water and handed it to him. 

Stiles fumbled with the water until Derek grabbed it back and tipped the water into his mouth for him. 

"Let's go to my house. We can watch Netflix or something." 

Stiles tossed his lithe body around a little bit and Derek took it to mean a yes. Or the closest thing he would get to a yes. He pulled his arms to wrap around his neck and then hoisted him up until he was in a standing position. 

His legs buckled again and Derek used his core strength to keep him up. "I have homework." 

"No, you don't." He said through gritted teeth as he shouldered all of his weight. "It's Friday." 

Derek practically had to carry him to his car. He was in terrible shape and the more that he struggled to carry him the more he realized that lacrosse did nothing for his muscles. 

Stiles tossed himself around in the seat the entire drive back to Derek's. He tried to soothe him the best he could but the only thing he could actually do to see any sort of calm on his face was hold his neck and give comforting squeezes. 

Which was fucking difficult living on the windiest roads and navigating the best he could at 1am. 

He took Derek's hand off his neck and held it in his hand, fingers intertwine with his. "Why don't you like me? Why're so mean?" 

In any other circumstance, Derek would have been over the moon at stiles holding his hand but the was probably the worst situation he could be in with him. "I'm not mean to you." 

"You are. All the time." 

"We just butt heads, it's fun." 

"It's not." 

"Okay," he squeezed his hand, "I won't be mean anymore." 

"Kay." 

He kept his eyes on the road in front of him, ignoring his own thumb soothing Stiles' hand in his. The road finally went ended and he pulled into his driveway. His house was only minutes away from Lydia's in walking distance but since he had his car and drunk Stiles he was forced to take his car. Oh, and it was pitch black outside which only added to the DO NOT WALK STILES TO YOUR HOUSE checklist. 

He pulled Stiles from the passenger seat so he could shoulder his weight once again. "Der, your house is cool." 

"Thanks, but you know what? We should be really quiet so Cora won't come murder us." 

"Cora’s not mean." 

"She can be. Plus, I don't want my mom seeing how drunk you are and calling your dad." 

"Oh, shit." He slurred. He pressed his finger to his lips to prove just how quiet he would be.

Once he drug him up the stairs and tossed him into his bed, he delicately pulled off his shoes and turned him so he would be on his side. "Where you going?"

"I'm just getting a clean shirt and taking off my shoes." 

Really he just needed to hide in his closet for a moment and regain some composure. He was seconds away from pushing him into Laura's old bedroom but he couldn't. He would never risk the possibility of him choking on his vomit or waking up alone and scared. He’d never do that to him.

A weak, cracking voice cut through his inner monologue-slash-mid meltdown and his body instantly moved to Stiles who was restlessly moving in his bed. 

Derek slipped under the sheets and pulled Stiles close to his body. He heard the sobbing but chose to ignore it, let him cry, let him wear himself out. He ran his hands down his arms, soothing down the arm hair and doing the best he could to calm him down. 

He was just too restless. He decided to talk, just for shits, maybe that’ll help.

“So, when Cora and I were little. I might have been 6 or 7 and she was like 3 or 4 and Laura was definitely too cool for us by then,” Stiles breathed out what could’ve counted as a laugh and Derek continued, “My mom got her this teeter totter thing. It wasn’t really a legit teeter totter, it was just a green dinosaur that I could sit on one end and Cora on the other.”

Stiles stopped moving and Derek was close enough to smell his shampoo and see the minute twitch of his lips. 

“So, I was pretty much bouncing her on this and she was laughing and giggling and kept telling me to shoot her higher. Well, I launched her really high into the air and when she came back down blood sprayed everywhere and I’m just sitting there and my first thought is that my dad was going to kill me.”

Stiles huffed out a breath again and Derek knew it was laughter.

So he burrowed himself deeper into his pillows and kept talking. “I mean, that being my first thought is pretty fucked up but then when I saw that she had bit through her lip I told her that I could fix it.” 

“I leave her on the porch, blood dripping down her face and onto her shirt and I’m sprinting through the house to get bandaids. Because my child-like thought process was ‘shit, a bandaid will fix her right up’. Well, it didn’t, we went through the whole box of bandaids and I was covered in her blood and so was she but by the time my parents found us we were both laughing.” 

Stiles covered the hands on his arms with his own and Derek could finally relax. 

“She had to get like 4 stitches but I wasn’t grounded. We even got ice cream after.”

He stopped speaking to listen to Stiles’ even breathing and sighed when he knew he was finally asleep. 

There were so many things he wanted to ask him, to have him talk about but for right now he was going to take this small victory. 

He had successfully deterred Stiles from having a full blown public melt down and got him safely in bed with minimal damage and minimal tears. He didn’t even have Scott there. He was a champ. 

^^^

Despite popular belief, Stiles thought upon waking up, when you wake up wondering what the fuck happened, it is never under any circumstances a good thing. Even if he didn’t mind waking up to the slight pressure of Derek’s arm pressing against his bicep as he laid curled around him, it still wasn't a nice feeling not knowing what happened. 

He pulled himself away from Derek so he could check that everything was intact. They didn't hook up. He was wearing his jeans, Derek was still wearing a shirt, no sign of touching in any way. Which was a relief, if he was going to touch Derek, he was going to do it sober. He pulled his phone out and thanked God when he saw that there was still 36% battery. First he texted Scott telling him he needed to come get him from Derek's immediately. 

He found his shoes and put them on, then went to his bathroom to asses the damage. He looked like absolute shit, he even pressed his fingers to his under eye bags and the red splotches that were on his cheeks. 

He pissed, washed his hands, splashed water on his face and went outside to wait for Scott. 

It was only 7am so hopefully Mrs. Hale wouldn't be waking up and asking him why the fuck he was sitting on her front steps at 7am.

Scott finally replied with:

K

And he could breathe a sigh of relief that he wouldn't have to see Derek again until Monday's government class. Derek was a heavy sleeper so the minor jostle that Stiles gave him while getting out of his bed was nothing. 

The thought stuck in his head was if he said anything too revealing about his crush on him or if he tried to make a pass at Derek? What if he kissed him and Derek shot him down? How was he going to face him on Monday if he knew that he’d made an inappropriate pass at him and was shot down. 

He pulled his knees to his chest and felt the anxiety swerve through his chest. 

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I slammed my sister so hard on a teeter totter that her front teeth bit through her bottom lip and she still has a scar. It's one of our favorite memories.


	3. Chapter 3

He heard the shoes clacking against the tiles and shouldn't have been surprised when his locker was slammed shut in front of his face. 

"You were really fucking lame at my party." Lydia said, cocking her head to the side and examining her nails. 

Stiles groaned and then sighed, "I know." 

"Derek took care of you though."

Nothing happened. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. "Yeah, ha- uh, what exactly happened? Derek seems off now after that?" 

Lydia shrugged. "He doesn't seem off to me." Then she pulled him in her direction and started walking toward the science hall, "But you got incredibly wasted and Derek was a saint and took care of you. That's what happened." She flipped her hair off her shoulder, "You were completely wasted, not in the fun and good way either, which isn't a good look on you, but he sacrificed his whole party experience to take care of you. And I'll admit that he took better care of you than Scott or I would have." 

"Somehow that makes me feel worse," he wondered out loud.

Lydia walked to the science hall until they had to break apart so stiles could run to the opposite side of the school to make it to calculus. "Thanks for making me late!" He screamed to Lydia, who promptly shoved both her fists above her head, middle fingers loud and clear. 

"Love you too!" 

^^^

Stiles was still off but he wasn't like he was last week. There was the old confidence in his posture and mannerisms and the sarcasm was back in full swing, of fucking course. But he would not even so much as glance in his general direction. 

It made him worried. And he didn't not like feeling ‘worried’. Maybe he should confront him and ask him what was up, or ask him why he was avoiding him like a crazy person? Both valid questions in his mind but both too vague and Stiles didn’t work well with vague, he was a direct question kind of dude. 

It’s nice seeing Stiles back to his normal self, that’s really what he should be focusing on, but why wouldn’t Stiles be talking to him, even though he was the one who ran out of his house at the crack of dawn on Saturday and ignored his texts and wouldn’t make eye contact today? 

Hopefully Stiles was blackout and doesn’t remember that Derek had fallen asleep with his arms wrapped around Stiles’. Hopefully. 

^^^  
He’s being a coward. He’s aware of it, of fucking course he is, but he can’t face Derek. Not yet at least.

He ran as fast as he could to the locker room and pulled out his textbooks. At least he can catch up on some Biology before he’s forced to confront Derek and tell him he’s sorry for maybe, possibly, coming onto him.

“What the fuck are you doing in here, Stilinski?”

He felt his balls jump back up into his stomach and visibly jumps then drops the highlighter hanging from his mouth. Smug, asshole Danny drops his athletic bag and laughs. Then he begins undressing across from him, acting like Stiles isn’t right in front of him studying Biology. 

“You scared the shit out of me first off, and why are you in here stripping down in front of me?”

Danny shoots him a dirty look, “I asked you first.”

“I’m studying obviously.”

“You can’t study with your friends at lunch? Like a normal person?”

Stiles gives him the dryest glare he can muster. 

“Okay,” Danny concedes, “I see your point. But why now? It really seems like you’re avoiding something or someone.”

Stiles stutters and that gives himself away. 

“Who?”

“Tell me why you’re here first.”

“Well,” Danny says while putting on his underarmour shirt, “I run on Monday’s and Thursday’s.” Then he drops his pants and Stiles’ can’t help but look away, feeling like he’s being pervy. “I’ve done it the whole year. I plan on getting a Lacrosse scholarship to Notre Dam.”

“That’s where Lydia wants to go, too.”

“I know- she's got better grades than me but I have the sports advantage.”

Danny pulls on his running shorts and plops down next to stiles, leg pulled in front of him and faces him on the bench. 

“Who are you avoiding?”

Stiles’ sighs, knowing he can’t get out of this conversation with giving some of the details away. “I think I tried to make a pass at someone at Lydia’s and I’m worried that I fucked it up.”

“You tried to make a pass at Derek?”

“What! How do you know it was Derek?”

“Dude, you were so drunk, Derek took you to his house before you started getting rowdy.” 

The air is slowly leaving his lungs. 

“It’s okay though, Derek would’ve told me if you tried anything. I think you’re good.”

The tightening sensation is spreading through his stomach at a rapid pace.

“Wait, are you gay?”

And then he’s hyperventilating, trying to seize back control of his body and mind. 

“Hey, Stiles.” Then Danny’s hands are on his back, how fucking more embarrassing can he be, honestly? 

“It’s okay dude. If you are, or aren’t. It doesn’t matter. You know it doesn't matter to me.” 

Stiles wants to say something, mention that he’s never been certain that it’s always been girls, but he’d never admit it, even now, he’s not going to admit anything concrete to Danny. Instead he asks Danny to please not tell anyone.

Danny nods his head, still rubbing circles on Stiles’ back. “Dude, never.” 

“I just don’t want you thinking I’m losing my mind over maybe liking guys.”

Danny smiles. “So when I was in like 3rd grade I told my mom that I was going to marry a boy. She just smiled and told me that it was fine with her.”

“What I’m saying though is that, there was never a doubt and thankfully I grew up with parents who were entirely supportive and told me that whatever I wanted was fine. I got to grow up with that. The heteronormativity didn’t affect me as much as it does to others because my parents were weird.”

Stiles knew that. He knew Danny’s parents were odd. They only had one TV and Danny was only allowed to watch PBS for 30 minutes a day, they ate totally organic and went on summer camping trips through the wild. His parents were so progressive for the late 90's.

“It’s okay to freak out over it though, it’s kind of terrifying at first but it’s okay. And I won’t say anything, Stiles. Ever. Okay?”

“Okay, thanks.”

“Sorry I interrupted your studying though.”

Stiles could help the eye roll. “I can’t fucking believe you spend your lunch hour running laps.”

He could see Danny roll his eyes back at him. 

“Have fun.”

Danny reached over a slugged his shoulder, then pushed off the bench in one fluid motion. “You too, loser.” 

^^^

Derek didn’t see Stiles at lunch. Scott was there, sitting across from him, legs bouncing excitedly as he regaled his weekend full of saving dogs and neutering cats. He kept looking for Stiles though, he could see it whenever Scott would pause and look to the entrance or out the window to the parking lot. He wasn’t subtle at all. Derek loved it about him. He wanted to ask about Stiles, he wanted to see if maybe Scott knew something that Derek didn’t. But Stiles was secretive about things and Scott was oblivious. They were two sides of the same coin and deciphering what either of them knew about the other and how they operated would take a therapist years and years of decoding. 

Scott shoved his mouth full of chicken nuggets and asked through jumbled noises how Derek’s weekend was. 

Derek shrugged. “Saturday I made a dent in the poetry project for Goodman and on Sunday I did my skin diagram for Anatomy and the Cornell notes for AP Government.”

“Damn, I need to do that Anatomy diagram. I did the APES notes because the test is next week.”

Derek rolled his eyes and mimed putting his fingers in the shape of a gun under his chin and pulling the trigger. 

Scott only nodded. 

“I didn’t even think about APES.”

“It’s because most of the time it’s a blow off class, then Johnson gets a hair up his ass and decides to fuck us over and make his tests insanely difficult.”

“Why did we do this to ourselves? We took all these AP classes while every other senior is taking off-campuses and enjoying their lives.”

Scott shrugged in response, spork smoothing down the mashed potatoes in the small corner of his styrofoam lunch tray. “I know I need to take these classes for free while I can. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to afford college at all so the more classes I can take free here, the better.”

Scott was right. He was lucky that after fucking up his freshman year, he was able to rebound and realize that this might be his only shot of leaving this small town and being what he wanted. 

Derek knew there was a college fund waiting for him upon graduation, but he’d still need a part time job in order to actually survive. 

Derek got it. Maybe a little less than Scott, but he understood. “Scott, you’re probably going to graduate Beacon Hills and be at a sophomore level in college.” 

He smiled, dimples showing. “Thanks man, it’s much easier when you have friends going through the same shit as you.”

“Speaking of which,” Derek whispered, “Can I borrow your APES notes?”

Scott kicked him under the table and whispered that he was a cheater but reached for his backpack and handed him the notes anyway. 

“What is this?” Stiles voice called out. “Cheating?” He pointed a finger at Derek, fake british accent making everyone in a 20 foot vicinity laugh, “How dare you try and turn this pure and noble boy into a heathen like yourself.” 

Derek was too happy to see Stiles noticing him to care that he was talking with a fake and awful british accent and yelling at him for cheating. 

Scott shoved him. “Stiles, shut up, you copied them earlier.”

Stiles scoffed and sat down. “God, Scott. You’re ruining this!”

Derek raised his eyebrows at Stiles and Stiles winked back. 

Scott elbows Stiles in the shoulder. “Where were you?”

“Catching up on Bio, man. I fucking barely studied at all this weekend and now I am freaking. I got way too drunk on Friday, sorry Derek- by the way, and slept until fucking 4 in the afternoon.”

Derek was caught by how casual Stiles sounded about the events on Friday. Stiles sobbed and shook in his arms for too long and revealed things that made Derek hurt for him so intensely. It was like Derek caught a glimpse into Stiles’ world and it terrified him. Stiles’ darkness was too real and too painful and Derek spent the whole weekend wondering how long Stiles’s had been suffering and how strong he must be to shoulder all of this. 

Derek let out a laugh and tried to sound normal. “Can’t be pre-gaming like that every weekend.” 

He slapped the table rhythmically and looked toward his shoes mumbling, “Yeah, you have no idea.”

Scott slammed his fist against the table mimicking a declaration. “This weekend we need to keep it chill, okay?” 

He nodded his head and watched Stiles do the same. “Let’s go see a movie this weekend and finish the stupid Cornell notes.”

Scott and Stiles nodded in unison. 

Stiles slammed his head against the cafeteria table and groaned. Derek tried not to feel things over that groan. “AP tests are so close. Fuck. I don’t know how Lydia does it.” 

Scott gazed past Derek, into the distance and whispered, “I just can’t believe when she graduates college she’s going to have over 30 college level hours.”

Stiles kept slamming his head against the table muttering the phrase “Why does God hate me?”, over and over to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should mention that I was super awful in high school, I got good grades and so did all of my immediate friends but we were all really really awful and anyone reading this should never try to copy what we did. Because we were monsters.


	4. Chapter 4

“Bruh,” Scott says as he lets out a deep bellowing cough and passes the pipe to Stiles, “I feel like we haven’t done this in so long.”

Stiles flicks the lighter over the bowl, watching the weed glow, then he pulls the lighter away and inhales until he sees the embers burn brightly. “We did this yesterday, yo.” 

“You know what I mean, smart-ass.”

Stiles did. Long ago were the days of getting high in Scott’s room, laying on the carpet together and talking. Nobody had time for luxuries like that anymore. Not with their grades and extracurriculars. “I’ve missed this.” he murmured softly under his breath, passing the pipe to Scott.

“Remember the time my mom busted Isaac and I in her old Honda?” 

“Dude," he kicked the air and laughed, "I will always remember that because it wasn’t me. Like, it was you two fucking idiots! Not me!”

Scott coughed. “I really don’t believe she even believed it. Like, you were in the kitchen washing dishes and not smoking pot with us. I really think she called your dad concerned about your health after that.”

“God, no dad talk while smoking pot please.”

“Amen to that.” 

Silence washed over them. The implications of their fathers hanging over them thicker than the smell of weed in the room. The sheriff had minimal knowledge of Stiles’ friendship based extracurriculars but had an inclination. His father was well aware that his son wasn’t a saint but he had no idea how deep it ran. How drunk he got. How much weed he actually smoked. 

Which would all stop once college started. 

The high was rolling in on him, it wasn’t as if he felt fucked up, but he felt the high in what he affectionately called “waves”, for a second he would think about something too hard and realize that he was high, then it would pass, he would feel sober and begin thinking about something too deeply. 

“You know,” Scott began as he laid his head down on the carpet, rubbing the fibers in small circles between his fingers, “I can feel that these are like the last days.”

Stiles followed suit and laid down next to him. “Last days of what?”

Scott waved his arms above his head. “This. Don’t you feel it? It’s like there’s a countdown hanging over my head at all times. 3 weeks until AP’s 6 weeks until finals, 20 or something weeks until college. My mom bought me plates the other day. It’s really happening, Stiles. This is it. These are some of the last days we’ll have together. Isn’t that scary?” 

The terror grew inside of his stomach and clenched his heart. “Well, fuck Scott, now it is.”

And it was, when Scott laid it out like that. There would be no late night smoke sessions, no more driving each other to school, waiting and meeting in the hallways for one another after every class. There would be no more parties at Lydia’s. Smuggling rum from his mom’s liquor cabinet. No more of his father's dry wit every morning. Scott would be leaving him. Scott would be starting his own life. Even Derek, as shitty as he is, would be moving on. 

“What's going to happen if the schools we get accepted to are far away from each other?”

Scott shrugged, “you're pretty much guaranteed an in at Stanford but I'll go to state school. It'll be okay. We’ll be closer than most, realistically speaking.”

Stiles closed his eyes and inhaled, basking in the soft scent of Scott and home. “I'm going to miss this.” 

“I am too.”

They laid in silence. Neither one of them willing to move and break this spell. It was something they've always done. Just laid together, whether it was after soccer practice when they were 11 or after school during those horrible middle school years. They were comfortable in silence, it was something that was surprising to both of them, given how much they talk and are forced to interact with other members of society. 

He couldn’t help but feel guilty that Danny knew something about Stiles that Scott didn’t. It had been resting heavy in his heart ever since he realized Danny had that part of him. But there was also a darker part of him that thought about all the negative things that could happen, like what if Scott was uncomfortable by it, or what if Scott was secretly homophobic- he wasn’t but his anxiety always wanted him to be ready for anything. Scott never kept secrets from him, ever. Scott was open and honest and if Stiles was being realistic, Scott didn’t know how to lie.

Stiles worked the words in his mouth, the high making him sound ridiculous in his own head. He couldn’t say the words he was intending, nothing made sense when he was high like this. “Sometimes I think there's something wrong with my brain.”

“No offense, Stiles,” Scott said rolling onto his side with a grin, “but I know there's something wrong with your brain.” 

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks, asshole.”

“Seriously though, what’s up? Are you good?”

Stiles rubbed his hands through his hair and made the dramatic motion of pulling his hands down his face. From out of nowhere, he could feel his throat get tight and his eyes sting with tears. He suppressed that feeling and held his breath for as long as he could, his throat bobbing with each second. 

“Dude,” Scott reached over to grasp him, his hand wrapping around his wrist, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s probably nothing, but we both know how my anxiety works, and getting high doesn’t always help that. But, uh- I just wanted you to know that, well, I think I might like guys.” 

Scott just stared at him, his thumb rubbing circles on his wrist. He stared at him expectantly and Stiles shrugged as way of ending his statement.

Scott glared at him with a level look. “This is why you’re getting upset? Because you like guys? Dude, I’m going to love and fucking support you until the day I die. Even if you die first asshole, I’m going to be sitting in my rocking chair saying, well, I bet Stiles is doing great up there. Banging all the disciples and shit.”

He rolled his eyes. “That’s fucking gross and maybe, slightly sacrilegious, I’m not entirely sure because my family was full of heathens.” 

“All I’m saying is that I’m with you forever. You’re my soulmate, dude. I could care less who you’re banging along the way.”

“Wow, Scott, you have such a way with words.”

“I know.”

Scott released his wrist and flipped on his side to face Stiles directly, his hand propped on his head to keep his gaze level on Stiles. Stiles hopped up and mirrored his actions until they were facing each other directly. 

Scott kept his eyes level but Stiles could see something fall, part of his cheerful attitude gave way. 

“Alright dude, what’s up with you?”

Scott closed his eyes. “I’ve been hooking up with Kira.”

Disbelief coursed through his brain first because Scott could never be this sneaky but Scott never lied- well, not about anything this dramatic. “The fuck ? Are you serious?”

“Yeah, the first time was right after Ally and I broke up and I felt so terrible about it that I couldn’t say anything. Then I kind of realized I was into her.” 

“So that’s why you’ve been less obsessive with Allison and Isaac.”

“I still think she cheated on me.”

“Dude,” Stiles sighed and pushed himself into sitting up, “I’m not defending her, I’m really not, but she wouldn’t do that and you know it.” 

“Well, I think Kira and I have a shot.” 

Scott’s undeniable reluctance to talk about Allison had him thinking that it wasn’t possible but Scott never did anything half-assed, when he was with someone, he was all in. Kira was shy, she was the type of girl who would have rather failed her speech final than talk about anything in front of a class for 15 minutes. She was also the type of girl who hated confrontation, loathed anything close to partying, and was terrified of Allison Argent- but who wasn’t? Stiles couldn’t help but feel sorry for Kira. She probably really liked Scott but would never be with him seriously out of fear of being noticed or being noticed by Allison.

Scott’s phone beeped with the notice of an incoming text and broke the spell between them. Stiles pulled his phone out to glance at his own screen. His dad had texted him an hour ago. 

Dad: R U coming home for dinner?

Stiles felt guilty for getting the text so late. 

Me: Yo Pops, sorry for missing your text I was outside with Scotty.   
I’ll be home for dinner.   
See you soon.  
You big baboon.  
Not that you’re big  
Or a baboon

Dad: Okay son I get it.  
I’m ordering pizza. Text when ur headed this way so I can call it in.

“Yo, Stiles.” Scott’s eyes locked on his. “Derek wants to know if he can stop by, he’s in the neighborhood.”

The companionable silence was definitely broken, shattered, ruined, stepped on. Stiles couldn’t talk about Kira, Scott wouldn’t bring up the liking guys thing. They weren’t going to be able to actually talk. For as much as he loved Scott, he had no reason to be here anymore. 

He also really missed his dad. 

Stiles jumped to his feet searching for the sweatshirt he was wearing earlier. “Dude, fuck that guy.”

“Why do you not like him?” 

“Well first off, he’s an asshole.” The maroon sweatshirt was in the office chair. Bingo. “Second, he’s just using us.”

Scott rolled his eyes laying his head back against the carpet. “Why do you always say that?”

“Because it’s true.”

“So what, Stiles? I mean, no offense, but isn’t that what everyone does?” 

Stiles paused half-way with his head going through his sweatshirt. “I don’t use you.”

“We are different and you know that,” Stiles watched Scott close his eyes and search for what he was trying to say, “you’re my soulmate forever.” 

“You know I completely agree with that statement, Scotty, but I can tell that there’s something off about Derek. He wants something and I just don’t want our feelings getting hurt when he’s finally tired of us.” 

“Stiles, it’s just Derek. He only speaks about 10 words a day, usually has pot, and for some reason wants to hang out with us-”

“That’s only because Danny was busy fucking that one guy this summer and Boyd and Erica played house in Erica’s older brother’s place while he vacationed or what-the-fuck-ever.”

“Regardless, he’s pretty reliable lately. Like, he’s not my best friend, Stiles. I don’t intend on us having getting matching tattoos and being each other’s best men but seriously, you gotta stop hating him.”

Stiles faked thinking, his hand resting under his chin, “Not today.”

Scott rolled his eyes and the bedroom door opened revealing Derek in his Adidas sweatpants and an old beaten Berkeley sweatshirt. He gave Stiles a small smile and Scott a nod.   
Scott sat up and reached his arm out for a high five. “‘Sup?”

“I had to drop Cora off at her Debate meeting and wanted to see what you two were up to. Wait-” he felt Derek stare at him intensely, “are you leaving.”

Stiles nodded, trying his hardest to not look at Derek. It was just Derek. Nothing special. 

“Pops wants to eat dinner with me tonight since he’s not working late.” 

Scott rolled his eyes again and Derek looked down at his leg, pulling the stitching loose. “That’s cool.” 

“Tell your dad I said hey, and that I want an invite to dinner, too.” 

Stiles tried to give Scott the dryest look he could muster and shot Derek a wave and walked out of the room as quickly as he could. 

When he was finally sitting in his Jeep, he kept trying to figure out why his breathing was so unsteady, why his heart was racing, why his chest was flushed and why he felt so utterly stupid and angry that he was leaving and not sitting in Scott’s bedroom smoking and hanging out with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I behaved like I did during high school during memorial weekend and I am STILL suffering the consequences of those actions. Don't be like me.  
> So here's a chapter. It's short but at least I did it.


	5. Chapter 5

Stiles was waiting in the locker room on Thursday for Danny. He paced back and forth along the row of lockers stopping to inspect the graffiti every now and then. There’s no real reason why he’s doing this, he thought to himself, he just needs to talk to him, that’s it, talk to someone who might understand what he’s going through. Sure, Scott was his best friend and Scott would try to help him rationalize his feelings, but he couldn’t understand. His anxiety had been through the roof, he was inches away from taking a few bars and calling it a week but there were too many deadlines and there were too many lectures he couldn't afford to miss. Danny might be the only person in the school who could understand this, this feeling of restlessness, or pain, or whatever it was that was keeping him from sleeping. 

He decided mid-way through his 10th pace down the lockers that maybe he should be doing school work and not wasting his time. So he sat, dug through his backpack and began flipping through his Biology textbook. Focus on Bio instead of the panic attack, focus on it, focus on the readings before he fails the quiz on Friday. 

He shoved the book aside and sighed to himself. This section of biochemistry was always a buzzkill. DNA, Mitochondrial DNA, Mom’s being the only who can carry it, never being able to know what his Mitochondrial DNA might hold. It was a depressing thought over the most boring topic. 

The door opening startled him back into reality. 

Danny turned towards the bench and jumped. “Jesus fuck Stiles, what the fuck?”

He began to realize how fucking creepy this situation was and needed to make sure he wasn't coming off as creepy as it seemed. “Oh, um, I’m sorry, dude. Just trying to study.”

Danny sighed. “Stiles, what do you want?” 

He can’t help but nervously rub his neck. “Hey- how do you know I want something. I could just be studying, you know.”

Danny laughed. “You had no idea I ran track until 2 weeks ago and I’ve seen you twice already. Before you finding out that I ran track, I never saw you and I’ve been running on this schedule for 4 years. So, what do you need?”

Stiles looked down at his hand, unwilling to make eye-contact., lots of embarrassment- a whole lot of it. “I don’t know. I guess, I kind of just wanted to talk and see if my anxiety is actually valid or if I’m just being a big baby.”

“Okay first,” Danny reached and lightly punched him on the shoulder, “your anxiety is totally valid. You kind of uncovered a big aspect about yourself and it takes some time to figure it out. Your anxiety is beyond valid, dumbass.” 

Danny began unzipping his duffel bag and pulled out his running outfit. “And secondly, you can always ask me about this stuff without feeling embarrassed or like you need to hide. Like, you’re more than welcome to text me about any of it.” 

“Okay.” Stiles couldn’t look at Danny. Not yet anyway. 

“Can I tell you something?”

Stiles shrugged so he wouldn't have to make eye contact.

“So, in 6th grade, when we had that Pre-AP math project that we had to do, remember the one with the magazine clippings and the geometric shapes? Yeah, well, I totally had a crush on you. Like, you had no idea and you were madly in love with Lydia but I was totally crushing on you. I never knew how smart you actually were until then and when we were in your room talking and being productive I couldn’t help but like you.”

Stiles looked up and couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. Danny’s words settling in his stomach. “So, what made you fall out of love with me?” 

“You went through puberty and got weird and stinky for a minute there.”

“Hey!” Stiles mock-punched his shoulder. “You asshole.”

Danny laughed, full bodied and embarrassingly loud. “I can’t believe I just told you that.” 

“I can’t believe you did either. I was such a weird looking kid.”

“Only got weirder looking honestly.” 

“Fucker.” 

Danny squeezed Stiles hand, “Feel better?”

Stiles nodded wordlessly, looking down at the way Danny was still holding on to his hand. “So, would it be weird if I asked if I could kiss you? You know, I wouldn’t want any of your unresolved 6th grade feelings to come rushing back." And then winked at Danny to make sure he knew he was joking. 

Danny rolled his eyes and sighed, then pulled him in by his collar. Stiles knew he was smiling and he could see the smile spread across Danny's before their lips met. It was a kind of perfect first same-sex kiss if he was being honest with himself. He couldn’t help but enjoy the feel of the upper lip hair brushing his lips. There was a rougher aspect to kissing Danny, he couldn’t tell if it was Danny or if this is what kissing boys in general felt like, but it wasn't like kissing Heather or Lydia. Danny curled his hand around his neck and deepened the kiss a little more. Stiles used his tongue to to part his mouth open and all he could do was paw gently at Danny’s chest. 

Stiles loved it. He had realized it wasn’t Danny he was loving, even though he probably did love him in that friendly I-can-make-out-with-you-without-it-being-weird-way. The way he could feel Danny’s clauses and the way he could feel the stubble on his jaw as Danny started kissing his neck only made his pulse beat faster and the blood run straight to his dick. 

“Okay, we gotta stop before I have blue balls for the rest of the day.”

Danny pulled back and adjusted himself through his shorts. “Can I ask you something also?”

“Sure, dude, your tongue was literally just in my mouth.” 

Danny rolled his eyes and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. “So, what happened between you and Lydia?”

Stiles stood and pushed his dick at an angle so it wasn’t obvious that he was pitching a tent in his khakis. “It’s not really my story to tell, honestly.”

Danny stood also picked up his running outfit from off the ground and walked toward his locker with his duffle bag slung over his shoulder. “So something did happen?”

He put his hands in the air like his was surrendering. “Like I said, it’s not my story to tell.” 

Danny grabbed his shorts and shirt and headed toward the bathroom, Stiles took it as his cue to leave. He shouldered his backpack and told Danny thank you and that it was actually really nice. 

“Don’t mention it, Stilinski. Seriously, don’t mention it.”

Stiles laughed and walked through the door and back outside where he could finally feel a little lighter after being anxiety riddled for the past week. 

Who knew making out was an effective way to ease anxiety? 

^^^ 

Derek always felt a little guilty going to this study group with Allison but he had been friends with Allison for years. Just because he was now close to Scott, he couldn’t stop being friends with her because Scott was extremely resentful of Allison. 

Allison spread her binder open and placed the notes right above the calculus worksheet that they were both working on. “I goddamn hate Calculus.”

The Beacon Hills public library was home to a Calculus study group that took place every single Thursday evening. It had a range of students at the tables. There were a few little kids getting tutored by older high school students as a way to earn volunteer hours. There were a few college students helping the more advanced high school students and then there was Derek and Allison. They sort of lurked in the background and waited until someone needed help. It earned volunteer hours even though they spent most of the time struggling to do their homework. 

“How is Scott doing?” 

Derek raised his eyebrow. “Do you actually care?”

“You know I do. You know I love him. I know he hates me but I really do care and I really do worry about him. And Stiles, that fucking moron.” 

“They’re both okay. Scott wears his fucking feelings all over his face so I would know if he wasn’t okay or if anything was happening in his life but with Stiles, who fucking knows?”

“Stiles is always going to be fucked up. From what Scott told me about his mom? There’s no way a child can come out of that without having some sort of issue.”

“Yeah, no joke.” Derek looked down at his paper, willing the answers to write themselves instead of being forced to write them himself. He didn’t have the brain power or motivation it took to devote himself to this homework. He just wanted to go home, to lay in bed, think about things that did involve formulas or school. 

“I didn’t cheat on him, you know.”

Derek just shrugged. “I really don’t know, Ally. You kinda never told anyone, including Scott, about what actually happened.”

She stared at him, her brown eyes getting soft and watery in a way that was truly Ally's. “If I tell you, do you promise not to tell? I’ll tell him, but you have to promise to wait until I do it.” 

There was a war waging inside of him, Allison introduced him to Scott and Stiles. It was Allison who was his best friend. Now it was Scott. Scott who he hung out with on his weekends, who he devoted all of his free time to. Scott was his best friend but Ally was one of his oldest friends. 

"I guess. But if Scott asks me, I'm going to tell him."

“Okay, that's fair. Let's see, I started feeling things for Isaac about a month before we broke up. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was but I knew it was something more than normal because I never had the urge to hang out with Stiles exclusively, you know? Like, I love that little weirdo but with Isaac, there was something pulling me in.” 

Derek nodded. 

“I just thought maybe I found him hot. Which is normal. I mean you can be attracted to someone and still love your boyfriend. But it was more.”

Derek could feel like he was finally going to uncover the answer to the question everyone had been asking. “Did you cheat on him?”

“Not physically. I never touched Isaac. But emotionally, yes.” 

There it was. The answer that Scott wanted to hear so badly.

“You should just tell him.”

“Tell him that for weeks I had been flirting with one of his good friends? That now I’m forced to keep my relationship with Isaac completely hidden so he doesn’t lose his mind and try to kill Isaac?” 

“If you told him, he might be okay with it. Scott is pretty good at rationalizing things.” 

“Scott is not morally grey. He hates me and he hates Isaac, when he hears that I broke up with him to sleep with his friend he will not be okay with it. I never touched Isaac when I was dating Scott, Derek, I swear it. But I did lose interest in Scott and flirted with Isaac behind his back.”

“That’s cheating, Ally.”

“I know. But I know that Scott thinks I slept with him while we were together but I didn’t and that’s all that matters right now but I didn’t. I just need him to let go of the anger a little bit and then I’ll tell him everything.”

“He is pretty angry, but he wouldn't be angry if you just told him what actually happened.”

“He has every right to be pissed at me, what I did was horrible. But he’ll get over it and then I can tell him. You can’t say anything though.” 

“You know,” Ally laughed, “if it weren’t for you being friends with them I probably would have never been able to get to know Isaac.” 

Derek is pulled from his direct focus on Allison when the chair next to his squeaks and the worst fucking twin, Aiden sits down in it, eyeing Derek suspiciously. 

Allison is the first to speak though. “I don’t know what you heard but you’re going to keep it to yourself.”

Aiden smirked. His grin predatory and eery. “As always.”

He didn’t know if he would try to reveal Ally’s secret of if he would just wait until the right moment to do damage but he couldn’t help but scrawl on his notes, “Tell him before Aiden does.” right where he knew Allison would see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never had a sexual identity crisis but I was this one girl's first kiss in 9th grade. Also, something I want to mention is I'm not trying to glamourize the things they're doing in this story. It's just what I did in highschool and I'm not trying to make it seem magical and wonderful. I guess what I'm trying to say is drugs are dumb, drinking and driving is very dumb, and vandalizing shit, and hurting your friends is dumb. Don't do it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starts with a flashback

FLASH BACK TO 8th grade 

Stiles could feel the black bandanna wrapped around his head already slipping down his face from the sweat that was beading rapidly- not a good sign. Scott was similarly adorned, except that hit was a black beanie covering his entire head. Nobody thought they would do it but here they were. Lydia, Danny, Jackson, Greenberg, and Isaac hanging closely by the edge, watching Stiles and Scott hands clenched tight around the walkie talkies each person has. 

Scott had mentioned months ago that he hated the bells, his life was run by the ding-dong sound of bells, allowing him miniature freedoms and telling him where to go. Stiles couldn’t have that. 

So, Stiles got a map of the school- thank you Ms. Addenson in the front office, and tracked where the bell wires would be. It took months of planning on his part and when he finally told Scott of his plan, Scott got scared. 

“How do you know which wire connects to the bells?”

Stiles faltered, he hadn’t gotten that far in his planning yet. “I’m not sure.”

“You need to ask Danny.” 

Which was how Danny became involved with the plan. Lydia stole the I.D. badge from the guidance counselor that would allow them access inside the building. Lydia told Jackson that they needed something to distract the security person, so Jackson, Greenberg, and Isaac were going to be the hooligans with spray paint and balaclavas. 

So here they were, all sweaty covered in black clothes. It was midnight- time to start moving. 

Stiles rubbed his hands together, and addressed the troops. “Okay, Jackson is going around the south side, Greenberg is going to the north, and Danny is going through the courtyard. Isaac will be by the entrance.”

Jackson spoke quickly in a hushed tone. “If we get in trouble I’m blaming this solely on you, Stilinski.” 

Danny elbowed him. “Shut up, dude. We all have something to lose if this plan fails.” 

Stiles shushed both of them. “Lydia is coming with us. She’s got the ID badge.”

“Poor Veronica Townsley. She’s too gullible.” Lydia said as she inspected her nails. 

“We are meeting back here at 12:30. If something goes wrong use the walkie talkie- but keep the volume low.” 

Scott came up slapped his and Lydia's shoulder and saluted the guys going to patrol. The anxieties were beginning to take over. Nobody at Beacon Hills Middle had ever done anything quite so dramatic for their 8th grade prank. Stiles thought of the punishments everyone would face and that was what kept him from making any crucial errors. Danny had told him it would be a thick black wire attached to a clock somewhere in the administrative office. He said it might not be obvious but it would be somewhere, it could also be attached to the microphone that was used to do morning announcements. Nobody had a detailed schematic of the office so it was up to Scott and Stiles to figure it out. 

They walked through the front entrance without any problem, the ID badge making the sensor glow green after every swipe. It eased some of his worry but Scott was hanging behind trying his hardest not to seem too distressed. 

Swinging his arm around Scott’s shoulders, he rustled his hair on pulled him close. “Come on, buddy one last entrance and we are in. Then it’s snip snip and we are done.” 

The walkie talkie on his hip rustled. It was Danny. “He’s going North. Make some noise Isaac.” 

They went into the office smoothly and Lydia stood by the door while he and Scott looked for the clock or microphone with the thick wires. In the front office there was a desk that had all of the registrar's belongings, pink-slips, 504 files, black folders with the detention paperwork lined the desk but no microphone, no wire, no clock. Scott went further back into the office while Stiles scrounged the whole area. He was going to find Scott when he heard the front office door snick shut and saw Lydia, eyes wide and crouching down. 

She mouthed the word run and Stiles instantly crouched down, turned off his walkie talkie and went to find Scott, whisper screaming his name. 

Scott was hidden below the desk when Stiles found him, holding a thick black wire in his hand. He opened his mouth to say something but Stiles shook his head, hoping Scott could see how distressed he was. 

Scott saw his eyes and stopped whatever he was about to say and turned off his walkie talkie as well. Both of them huddled together under the desk, not hearing any motion. Not certain if that meant good or bad. 

After a beat he extended his hand and pulled Scott tightly against his chest. “I’ll take the fall Scott. My dad may be the sheriff but at least you won't be forced to move in with yours.”  
He held Scott close to him for what seemed like hours until he heard the floorboards creak closer and closer. He couldn’t control his breathing so he squeezed Scott even tighter. 

“Are you two done making out? Clip the wires and let's go before that creepy security guard comes back.”

Stiles unclenched Scott and popped up from behind the desk only to see Lydia waiting by the door, hands on her hips staring directly at him.

“God, you’re a bitch sometimes.”

She gave him a deadly smile. “I know. Did you two insufferable idiots manage to find the wire.”

“Yes. All I have to do is cut it.” 

Stiles heard the sound of something being cut and looked below to see Scott holding both ends of the black cord and smiling triumphantly. 

He punched Scott’s shoulder and could help the grin that was beginning to spread across his face, Scott mirroring the exact same smile. “Let’s get the fuck out of here before our luck runs out.”

He looked around the office, noticing the pictures hung from the walls, the Beacon Hills logos that were plastered to various items, and saw the triumphant looks on Lydia and Scott’s face and knew he had started something.

^^^

Derek had no idea where the theme came from honestly, ‘Going away’? How fucking more cliche could these people get. Nobody was going away. He knew it was sort of a goodbye party for the seniors because this was sort of their last shot of doing something big for everyone. It was huge though, he’ll give the host that- who ever they were. 

The bass was thumping deep pulses through his bones as he searched for a sign of familiarity. His main sight was on Stiles, especially since last weekend was such a fucking ride. After doing a lap around the backyard, kitchen, and living room, he finally bumped into Jackson who explained to him with as many raunchy terms as possible that his friends were upstairs. So that’s where he went. 

When he arrived upstairs all eyes shot to him. 

Everyone was sitting cross legged in a circle with the angriest expressions he’d ever seen. 

“Ah,” Isaac said, “Derek, please take a seat and join us for this rapidly deteriorating game of truth or dare.”

Derek sat on the couch, protesting, “I’ll just watch! Don't wanna ruin the flow.”

Stiles finally looked at him and scooted over and patted the carpet next to him. “Take a fucking seat, Derek.” All the mirth and sarcasm gone from his voice. 

So that’s what he did. When Stiles spoke like that no one could argue. 

Derek looked around the circle, he saw Malia and Heather whispering in each other's ear and giggling, all while staring at Stiles who proceed to roll his eyes. Next to them he saw Ethan and Danny cozying up in a weirdly intimate way. Aiden sat between Allison and Isaac. Kira was doing her best to hide next to Lydia but she wasn’t successful. 

Lydia piped up. “Okay, last turn it was on me so I get to truth or dare someone.”

She hummed thoughtfully for a moment and point to Malia and shouted “Truth or dare.”

Malia was always nice, from what Derek knew of her. She smiled back at Lydia, perfect teeth blinding everyone. “Truth.”

Lydia asked her the generic question. “Who was the last person you kissed?”

Malia furrowed her brow slightly. “I think his name was David, or like Davidson, something like that.” 

Everyone let out a laugh. 

It was Malia’s turn now. “Heather, truth or dare?”

Heather stared directly at Stiles and murmured truth.

Derek could feel the tension in the room beginning to blossom even more. This wasn’t any sort of nice pleasant game of ‘truth or dare’ everyone in this room was on a mission for answers. He couldn’t help but try to shield himself from some of what was about to come out.

Stiles stiffened next to him and he wanted to reach out and touch him, relieve him of some of the stress that was beginning to wind its way through him. 

“What was the worst thing you’ve done this year.”

Without missing a beat or breaking eye contact with Stiles she said, “I fucked Jackson.”

Stiles let out a yell of laughter, surprising everyone in the room. His laughter rattled off the walls and made Scott turn to shush him. Derek watched and tears sprang to his eyes and he rolled on his back to laugh harder. 

When Derek turned to look back at Heather she looked furious. “Truth or Dare, Stiles.”

Stiles sat up, wiping the tears and adjusted his shirt. “Truth, but honestly, your truth wins so I don’t know why we’re even playing this game anymore.”

“Did you sleep with Lydia after we broke up?”

Everyone kind of stilled in that moment. Waiting to hear what happened, waiting for Lydia or Stiles to say something about it instead of rumors.

Stiles glanced at Lydia, who gave him a nod and Stiles took a breath and said, “Yes”. 

Heather got up and ran before Stiles had even really finished saying yes. The room was still and all eyes were on him. Derek’s included. 

No one made a sound, no one even dared look around or look for where Heather had run off to. 

Stiles cleared his throat ignoring Heather’s minor outburst. “Isaac, truth or dare.”

Isaac said truth and Stiles asked, “When did you get together with Ally?”

Isaac shook his head and laughed. “We aren’t together.”

Scott’s anger finally broke. “You’re a fucking liar,” he shouted at him. His outburst scared everyone. Eyes huge and watching.

Derek watched Allison try to keep her head down but she couldn’t. “Fuck you, Scott. Isaac and I can’t be together because we know you’ll lose it.” 

“You’re a fucking liar and a cheater.”

Stiles had his hand on Scott before Derek could even blink. 

Ally was shaking, either from the anger or almost crying. “You’re a piece of shit.”

“At least I’m not a cheater.”

Derek watched as Stiles whispered fiercely in his ear, yanking on his arm for emphasis. Scott hung his head in what appeared to be shame, while Stiles held him close. 

Isaac took the opportunity of peace to focus on him. “Derek.”

Derek prayed to every higher power listening that it would be something stupid. He prayed for first kiss story, first time having sex story, even first time kissing a boy over some of the things Isaac could ask. The logical option would have been for Derek to say dare instead of truth but no one did that. No one risked their freedom over a dare, freedom being the sheriff calling your parents and you being grounded until death. 

“Truth or dare.”

He wanted to deny, to pass on the question but he couldn’t. All eyes were on him now. “Truth.”

“So, now you can finally admit that you and Stiles are eskimo brothers, right.”

It was a low blow, even for Isaac, but he could see the resentment and he could see how he missed being the third on the Stiles and Scott show. 

He and Lydia had sex at the beginning of this year, right after a summer spent with Scott and Stiles. Lydia is beautiful, she’s perky, she’s gorgeous, Derek would have had to been an idiot to turn her away. But he didn’t and they kept their secret from Stiles and Scott because she knew it would lead them to abandon Derek- But he was sure that Lydia told Ally and Ally told Isaac and now Isaac was going to milk it for all it was worth. 

But he knew what his answer meant. Stiles and Scott would hate him or Stiles and Scott wouldn’t care. He watched them turn slowly in unison toward him, like the fucking twins from the shining, waiting for an answer. Their expressions were identical and he would have laughed in any other situation. He turned toward Lydia who just rolled her eyes. 

His twisted his hands together and nodded. 

Stiles turned away from him. Scott gave him a look that was more confused than angry and also turned away. 

Ethan and Danny both said gross at the exact same time and Lydia threw her shoe at Danny. 

“You almost hit my eye.”

“Go to hell.” 

“Oh, I’m here sweetheart.”

“That's pretty melodramatic. Even for you.”

Stiles didn’t look at him once. He wasn’t trying to freak out about it. “So, um, Danny. Truth or dare.”

“Can we just ask truth from now on, because at this point no one says dare. Like, let's just say truth.” 

Derek had always been lame at this game. He always had the worst questions, the worst ideas for a dare, and he hated the thought of hurting someone's feelings or making them say something that they don't want to say. Anything too revealing always made him cringe and feel sympathy for those people. Danny Always had a vague and truthful answer so he never felt bad asking him. Danny was an open book normally. “Who was the last person you kissed?” 

“Not giving names but it was a boy,” he gave everyone in the room a playful smirk, “and he's in this room.” 

A couple of Ohh’s and Ahh’s were said amongst the group. Then Danny turned to Aiden. “Okay, Aiden, truth?” 

Aiden let out a breath of laughter and nodded.

“Who do you have a crush on?” 

Aiden grabbed Lydia’s hand and told her that it was her.

Lydia blushed bright and pink and hid her smile on her shoulder. Lydia always seemed to be the most captivating whenever she was genuinely happy, too bad it was Aiden that was making her this happy because he is genuinely the biggest piece of shit he's ever met. 

Lydia continued to hold tightly to Aiden’s pinky while he asked Allison truth or dare. 

Allison smiled and said truth of course which only made Danny mock tear his hair out. He mouthed the words just ask truth from now on you assholes. 

Aiden asked, “What’s the weirdest thing you've ever done in class.” 

Allison looked at Scott and smiled. “Remember that time I got a nosebleed during that final in Aguirre’s class?” 

Scott shocked the whole room and smiled back- taking that god damn olive branch, “Yeah.” 

“So during the final I got this really terrible nose bleed but no one was allowed to leave so I kept bleeding and I would wipe it on the scratch paper and I was writing notes to Scott in my blood and it was really fucking morbid.” 

Stiles crinkled his nose and said that was fucking disgusting. 

Allison clapped her hands together. “Ethan, truth?” 

Ethan nodded. 

“Where's the most interesting place you've gotten high.” 

“Uh, probably in the neighbor's tree house.”

“Derek, truth?”

Derek resisted the urge to scream why me, directly in his face but instead of doing that he just nodded. Ethan was suppose to be the nice twin that everyone loved and wanted to hang out with- even though derek didn't know that for sure since he never spent more than 15 minutes with either of them. But if Danny was hanging with Ethan, he had to be at least kind of decent.

Stiles hadn't looked at him once since he admitted to sleeping with Lydia. It didn't bother him, if he was angry at Derek, he would explain the situation and tell him that it was a one night thing, that he and Lydia were and always would be just really good friends and that Lydia just came on to him because she was sad- nothing more and nothing less. If he wanted to admit more he could say that he hooked up with her partly because he was worried he didn't like girls at all. But Stiles never expressed much emotion to him so his disinterest in Derek could be because he just had nothing to say. Stiles had never gone out of his way to be particularly welcoming to Derek so maybe it was nothing.

“Is what Allison said yesterday true?”

Derek was confused. “What did she say yesterday.” 

“That you conveniently became friends with Scott and Stiles so she could swoop in on Isaac.” 

Allison was the first to scream, “Fuck you, Ethan.” 

But Derek wasn't far behind when he screamed, “You're a lying son of a bitch!” 

Scott and Stiles both stared at him though. Stiles anger now palpable. 

All Scott said was, “I can't believe Stiles was right,” and then he got up and went downstairs.

Stiles watched Scott leave but once he was gone he could see him turn slowly to Derek. His eyes icy with hatred, with anger, with something resembling disappointment. 

“I knew you were using us for something. I don’t know if was for Lydia or for keeping us distracted.” 

“Stiles, no. That’s not what-”

“Shut up, Derek. Stay the fuck away from us. You’re a fucking monster, you know that?” 

Lydia grabbed his hand and yelled at him to stop. But Stiles just yanked his hand from her, making her fall back in shock.

“I hate your fucking guts. It would have been one thing to lie about Lydia and why you were friends with us just so you could get with her, but to do that to Scott? I never want to see you again.” 

Derek stood to try and stop him but when he reached for him and tried to touch him, Stiles recoiled like Derek was poison. 

From somewhere downstairs came the sounds of sirens. Danny went to crack open the shutters and yelled for everyone to run or hide. 

The way Stiles had looked at him. There was absolute betrayal on his face but there was also smugness- like he knew Derek was going to fuck up. Derek sat in the middle of the room, legs still crossed and contemplated getting caught, getting shipped away to some boarding school his father had gone to. 

Derek was too stunned to move. He wanted to find Stiles and tell him everything. That both were accidents. Especially what Ethan said. 

But he couldn’t. Stiles was gone and Derek was just too stunned to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We would do this weird truth or dare where we were always trying to gain information about something or someone. Truth or dare was like this auction of secrets. And everyone always chose truth.


	7. Chapter 7

His father stared at him, uniform on, coffee in hand, stern glare embedded into his posture and face. “You go to school and you come straight back here. Do you understand?”

Stiles pulled on the strap of his backpack and sighed. “I don’t know why I’m being punished. But yes, dad, I do.”

“You can just sum it up to guilt by association.”

“I didn’t do anything though!”

“I’m not arguing. You are on lock-down until I feel comfortable enough to let you out into the city limits.” 

“Daaaaa-d.” he whined, “I really didn’t do anything. Even if I did, you can’t prove it. Remember: it’s only illegal if you get caught.”

His father leaned down and glared. “Please go to school before I have to punish you for longer.” 

“Can I just stay home from school today? I do feel kind of sick.”

“You can come do paperwork with me and I can watch you study for every single test you have this week.”

“I’ll just go to school.”

When he finally got to school he dreaded every moment. He knew Scott was angry at him for something but after everything they heard this weekend, it could be a culmination of hatred for everyone and everything. He could be resentful of the fact that Stiles fucking called it and knew that Derek Hale was a rotten piece of shit who only wanted to be friends with him for a reason. He was so tempted to walk right up to Derek and punch him in the face but knowing Derek, he knew he’d just take it and not fight back. Which would suck. 

Stiles doesn’t know why hearing it out loud at that party was so devastating. When he heard the question and heard Derek’s answer, he could feel part of his body die. Just because he was right about Derek doesn’t mean he wanted to be. He hated knowing how much control and weight he had in his life. He hated Derek, he hated him so fucking much. He couldn’t understand why he felt so sad about it. 

Derek would be in his government class but he already knew he was going to ignore him. He needed to find Scott, figure out what was bugging him, ignore Derek, ignore Lydia- who he was insanely pissed at for sleeping with Derek, ignore Allison and Isaac at all costs, and then pay attention in class because AP exams were approaching, easy enough. 

Except that it really fucking wasn’t.

^^^ 

The only reason why he even showed up today was to turn in the AP English project draft. He knew Stiles was going to physically assault him if he could, he’d let him. But his main worry was what Scott would say to him. He wanted to tell him it was a lie, that Ethan was a fucking asshole. 

He just wanted to make peace and go back to the way it was.

^^^

Everyone in his AP English class was holding binders, which was disconcerting. 

He leaned over his desk to ask Torie, the go-to answer machine with a way too bright smile. “Torie, why does everyone have binders?”

Torie’s smile actually faltered a little, she cocked her head to the side and stared at him, “Stiles, please tell me you are kidding. Because that’s not funny.”

Stiles did not understand what she meant. “I don’t know what you mean. What is due?”

“Stiles,” she said like she was delivering bad news, “The rough draft of the project is due today. You know how important that is, right? This is like 25% of the whole grade.”

Stiles’ blood ran cold and he had to fight the urge to piss his pants right then and there. He pushed himself out of his desk and made his move to leave, just as Goodman marched into the classroom. 

“Drafts are due,” She barked, eyeing each student individually. “They need to be dropped off at my desk right now. If you don’t have it, you don’t get full points. We’ve been going over this for months, people. It’s time to buckle down, college is fast approaching and professors won’t appreciate you turning in projects late. Especially at those Ivy league schools that you all so desperately want to get into.”

While she kept going with her monologue, he tried to think of an excuse or something to help him get out of this or to at least give him an extra day. Something. He could stay up all night and finish, he could go to the library right now and finish up most of it honestly. It was just analyzing poetry, how hard could it be? 

“In order for me to accept the work with only a 10 point deduction for tardiness, you can have your parents hand write me a note explaining your situation with their phone number and I will be calling them. Otherwise it’s an automatic 25 point deduction. That’s ¼ of your grade on this, automatically taken away.” 

His dad would do it if Stiles could prove that the work was actually done. He could do the work and show his dad and it would only be a 10 point deduction, which isn’t as bad as 25. His mind raced with the ideas of what he could do. The librarian liked him, he could work there because going home would be risky, especially since he mentioned staying home to his dad earlier. The Jeep was too conspicuous and impossible to hide in his driveway. 

The only issue with the library was that if he was busted, he’d get detention, his dad would be even more pissed and then he wouldn’t sign the form.

He fucking hated his life. 

^^^

Derek stared at the empty seat across from him in Government and wondered if he had switched out of the class just to get away from him. He missed his winks, the way he would scratch his face, how when he’d get focused he would play with the hair on the nape of his neck. 

Derek had become the master of studying Stiles without even realizing. He knew it, he felt the intrinsic pull of Stiles everywhere he went- in the halls he could feel if Stiles was close, in his classes he knew where Stiles was (they all had each other's schedules memorized). Especially after he slept next to him, his hands holding Stiles arm. The push of breath from his open mouth. 

Derek was in way too deep with Stiles and now he could easily assume that Stiles abhorred the idea of being even in the same class as him.

He wasn’t going to deny having feelings for him, they were there and they were an always urgent pressing matter but sometimes when he would stare at him in government it was a heart swelling, palms sweating, urge to put his arm around his waist feeling. It was awful.

^^^   
Me: I’m in the library. Come hang w me.  
Me: Or just come see me during passing period.  
Me: I didn’t know the english project was due today so I’m stuck here all day.  
Me: Or ignore my texts that’s fine too.

Scott: No offense Stiles but I don’t want to hang w u in the library.  
Scott: Like, i’m fucking pissed u straight up abandoned me at that party.   
Scott: I was hiding under a little girls princess castle bed for hours while police searched the house. 

Me: The fuck dude? I didn’t abandon you. I was in the neighbor's dog house all night.   
Me: You ran downstairs and I had to find someplace to hide.

…

Me: Is this why you're pissed at me?  
Me: Bc i abandoned you?  
Me: Screw that. You left me upstairs w those fucking people and I ran as quickly as I could so I wouldn’t be stuck in a room w Derek. I jumped out a window and slept in a dog house while you slept under a castle.

Scott: It was a toddler sized bed so I was scrunched up the entire time.

Me: Come hang out w me and stop texting or you'll get in trouble.

Scott: Shut up. 

Stiles put down his phone and started analyzing Donne’s poetry. He felt better than he did this morning. At least Scott wasn’t that pissed at him anymore. He would finally be able to tell Scott what happened. 

That party was a fucking mess from beginning to end- that's the long and short version of what happened.

The Ecstasy wasn’t that great of a poem but he felt like he’d adequately analyzed it- he always did. Poetry was easy for him, it always had been. It was what pushed him to take Pre-AP english back in 6th grade. His mother read him poetry as a child, stupid little stories like Where the Sidewalk Ends and every Doctor Suess book known to man. She loved it and now he loved it, kind of, when he wasn’t forced to do it for a grade. 

Scott slammed his book down and scared the shit out of him. 

“You always get so focused when it comes to English.”

He grasped at his chest. “You scared the shit out of me. And no, I don’t. I just have to finish it or I’ll make less than a B on this and that could drop my GPA.”

Scott rapped his fingers against the wooden desk they were sitting and and stared at the books that surrounded them on almost all sides. He dropped his backpack and rested his head on his hands. 

“Has Derek texted you?”

Stiles put down his pencil and gagged. “If he did, I’d block his number in an instant.”

“He texted me.” 

Stiles picked his pencil back up and underlined some lines in Kubla Khan. Faking interest, “What did he say?” 

“He apologized and explained what happened.”

He didn't dare look at Scott. He knew what was coming. Scott would forgive him, Scott would welcome him back with open arms because that was how Scott was. 

“Allison even texted me and apologized. She wants to meet for coffee.”

“Wow that’s funny.”

“Stiles you need to work on your forgiveness skills.”

“What for?”

“There’s only a few weeks left, we have to tolerate these people, we have to survive with them until college.” 

“Well, you can be friends with Allison and Derek again and I’ll just tentatively watch you be friends with them.

Scott reached over and punched his shoulder. “You dick. Now, shut up and do your english. I got Bio homework and can’t be distracted by you.”

^^^ 

There was a thought he had as soon as the secret about how he slept with Lydia came to light. He had typed it out and left it waiting to be sent to Stiles as a text but he just couldn’t. It was honest, accurate, and probably would reveal a little too much about his feelings for Stiles. 

He wanted to send the text but it might not matter. Stiles could have blocked his number already and written him off completely. 

Scott seemed willing to listen to him and hear what actually happened. Allison even said she’d text both of them and explain her side to them and tell them that what Aiden had heard and told Ethan was a joke.

But Stiles…

God, Stiles was so unforgiving and he was so fucking stubborn. 

He pulled his phone from his pocket and stared at the text. 

He pressed send.

Me: I love you so much more than I ever liked her. I love you more than I ever liked any of those people.   
^^^ 

During Stiles 5 minute break between Keats and Dickinson he had to grab a kit kat from the vending machine and shove it in his mouth and then take a piss- he was on a time schedule down to the minute. He wanted to get this project done before he had to leave so every second counted for him and the piss thing was of the utmost importance because his bladder had been screaming at him for the past hour. 

As soon as he turned the corner he heard Lydia’s shrill, high pitched voice yell, “Stilinski.” and then he was running into the nearest bathroom and hiding/ going pee before he wet himself.

The bathroom door swung open hard enough to make the walls shake. 

He turned to angle himself away from her. “Lydia, I’m going pee. Privacy please.”

“Shut up. It’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”

The embarrassment rolled through and then the anger and he was shaking his dick and zipping up. “What is it that you really want Lydia?”

“I want an apology. Scott needs an apology for sure. Derek needs forgiveness, even though I’m not sure why you’re pissed at him.” She tapped her finger against her temple and stared. “I know you’re not secretly in love with me and jealous he stole my virtue, right?” 

“Oh, shut up.” 

Stiles turned on the water and pumped out the soap. 

“I can see the anger at Ally, even though what was said wasn’t true, and I see the anger at Ethan and Aiden but honestly, it’s not your battle.”

“When it comes to Scott, everything is my battle.”

“Calm the fuck down, Achilles. Jesus Christ, you’re so dramatic.” 

Stiles dried his hands on his backpack and tried to walk past Lydia. She shoved him hard into the wall and he stopped, knowing he could go past her with minimal effort but also knowing that she must really need him to listen if she’s resorted to shoving. 

“Lydia, I’m sorry. I love you so much, okay?” He pulled her into a hug and he felt her resist. “I washed my hands Lydia.” He felt her body go slack against his. Her hands squeezing at his waist. 

“I love you, Stiles. You’re a fucking moron but I love you and you’re my best friend and,” she pulled away from him and cupped his face in her slight delicate hands. Despite the fact that they were freezing he could feel himself relax, “Please remember that you can tell me anything.”

There was tension and he could feel his face fall. 

Sha gave his face a little slap that jarred him, and she continued to say, “Well my love, I’m always here. And you apologized to me so now you just have to apologize to Scott and forgive Derek and you’re all set.”

“Already apologized to Scott.”

“There you go!” 

She squished his cheeks together and turned him around. She slapped his ass conspiratorily and pushed him into the hall. 

Everyone turned around and stared at them. Lydia gave everyone a sideways glance and walked away. Some guy stared at her with a shit-eating grin on his face and Stiles fought back the urge to kill him. “Fuck off, Jared.”

He was about to say something so much worse to Jared, something that would involve his small dick to some capacity but was interrupted by the soft chiming of his cell phone. He was grateful to get this text during a time when he wasn’t in class and silenced his phone. He clicked the home screen open and saw a text from Derek.

Adrenaline sort of shot through him, or anxiety, he wasn’t sure. He debated right then deleting his number, blocking his phone number right after telling him to fuck off forever. 

But Lydia was right. Forgiveness. For-fucking-giveness. FUCK. 

He swiped it open.

Derek: I love you so much more than I ever liked her. I love you more than I ever liked any of those people. 

His heart threatened to fall out of his body. What did this mean? What could this mean? 

His fingers hovered over the his phone, they itched to type an endless list of questions, instead he clicked his phone off and shoved it in his pocket- ignoring him would be easier than forgiveness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to try and finish (at least outline) the rest of the story before I post another chapter because I'm lazy and college is starting soon.


	8. Chapter 8

Things weren’t back to normal in any way and everyone knew it. There was still a distance between him and Scott, an even bigger distance between him and Derek- meaning he wasn’t even breathing in his general direction, and then Lydia was acting strange to everyone, but that could be Lydia, he couldn't say for sure. 

He debated playing off the text message, just going up to Derek and starting a conversation along the lines of ‘Government is starting to blow more than usual.’ and seeing if Derek would go along with it or ask for an explanation.

And Stiles didn’t have an explanation he wanted to give him because he was still fucking pissed at him and didn’t want to hear Derek’s excuses or lies or how it was a misunderstanding. He just wanted to continue hating him and graduate and never hear about him ever again. 

So, he just ignored him and that seemed to be working fine for him. Scott would sometimes talk about how Derek would ask about him but Scott didn’t see Derek enough to warrant an explanation either. 

When Derek walked down the halls he wouldn’t even acknowledge him or wave or say hi like he normally did. 

Like, in government he would normally roll his eyes in Derek’s direction whenever the teacher started getting long winded. Now, he came into class, looked down at his paper, or notes and didn't glance toward Derek for the whole 50 minutes. It was actually really difficult because all he wanted to do while Ms. Holtzman droned on about taxation without representation was look at Derek and see if he was truly miserable without him in his life anymore. 

Yeah, it had only been a week but it was radio silence. 

Instead he stared down at his Cornell notes and ignored the feel of Derek’s eyes watching him. 

As soon as the bell rang he threw everything into his backpack and left without looking at him, another successful day. 

He ran through the halls towards his AP Physics class, trying to get out of the hallways as fast as possible and minimizing the risks of seeing anyone he didn’t want to see. He sat down in his seat and sighed, the guy next to him fist-bumped him in a way of a greeting. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, checking the clock to make sure he had time and that Ms. Robertson wouldn’t snatch his phone up and send it to the principal’s office, like she had done several times. 

 

New Message from Derek Hale. Fingers shaking, rage building, sweat forming, he decides to swipe open the message and rip it off like a bandaid. 

Derek: I hate that you don’t even look at me anymore. 

Boy, did that asshole sure know how to cut him deep. Ignoring him, he rationalized, was the best option that he could come up with right now so that’s what he’ll keep doing until he can come up with a better option. 

^^^  
Derek threw his phone on his bed as soon as the ringer started. He faced the mirror in his bathroom and contemplated not answering. He knew who it was and he knew he didn’t want to explain anything. 

He crossed over to his bed and swiped answer it was better answering no than to risk further inquisition from the rest of the family.

Laura’s shrieks of delight rang out across his bedroom, hurting his ears.

“Laura please be quiet, jesus fuck.”

Laura positioned the camera to face her better, her dorm coming into focus a little more. He smirked at the sight of all the red solo cups lined up on her desk.

“What’s wrong, loser?”

Derek pulled his face to mimic something that resembled his normal face but he didn't know really what that face could be. He always tried to remain as emotionless as possible because Laura could sense something and then would tell his mother and then he's be interrogated over nothing. “Nothing. Why?”

“You look upset and I can tell you have a bad attitude.”

“I’m fine.”

“Is it Scott and Stiles? Are they still being mean to you?”

“Laura, they’ve never been mean to me, what are you talking about?”

"Is is it Allison?"

"Laura," he sighed. "No, there's nothing wrong."

Laura cupped her hand around her mouth and pretended to whisper through facetime, “Is it Danny?”

“Laura, what the fuck?” He picked up his phone covering the speaker, “How do you know anything about that?” 

She gave him a knowing smirk, “I know everything baby brother. So tell me what’s wrong. I’ll figure it out when I come home from school no matter what kind of information you withhold.”

Derek was still stuck on the Danny situation, how did she know about him and what if she knew something. What if she knew that he was hooking up with him? What if she fucking told their parents? He would absolutely die if his mom and dad found out.

“Derek, what’s wrong? Is this because of the Danny thing?”

He looked away from his phone, his body vibrating with rage. "Why can't you just mind your business, Laura? Why do you always have to know everything about my life when I don't know a thing about what you do?" 

"You never ask about my life?"

"Because I'm not a fucking busy-body and I realize that siblings should have some privacy in their lives!" 

"What the fuck is your problem, Derek. It's not like I told anyone anything!" 

His finger was over the hang-up button. He wanted to press that button more than anything in the world right now. 

“Dude, no offense, but we share a bathroom and you aren’t very quiet. I just figured that you were going to tell me when you were ready. I just wanted you to know that it doesn’t change anything. You’re still my annoying little brother that I would strangle if I could.” 

Derek kept his focus on the floor, “You didn’t tell mom and dad, did you?”

He heard the sound of the phone movement on her end, “No, but you know they wouldn’t care.”

“You don’t know that, Laura. And it's not your secret to tell! Stop being such a busy body and maybe I'd tell you a little more about my life. ”

“Derek, seriously? I actually do know that our parents aren’t homophobic, you twat. ANd yes, I realize that it's your secret but I'm not going to let you get to a point where you kill yourself, like some kids. Derek, there are kids who fucking kill themselves because they feel so isolated. I just want you to know that I know and that I don't care and that I love you, okay?"

"Just," she sighed across the phone, "Please calm down. I love you and I want you to be okay. Is it Danny? Are you guys together? Did you break up?”

Derek finally rolled his eyes, “No, I’m not together with him, we never were and I wouldn’t want to be with him.”

He could see Laura contemplating what she would say next, “But he’s really hot.” 

“Oh my god, Laura! You hook up with him then!”

“Then what’s wrong?”

Derek contemplated telling Laura everything, about Lydia and Ally and Stiles and the party last weekend. She knew all these people because she was only a year older than he was. But then telling her would reveal too much about him. But it would maybe keep Laura from trying to dig into his business. 

But it might reveal that he might not be straight at all and for some reason he fought against that. He really didn’t want to be gay. He didn’t want to disappoint his parents or his little sister. 

But Laura was taking it well and Laura was the first person in 5 days to ask him what was wrong since all his other friends were totally ignoring him and each other. 

“Okay, so, last weekend I went to this party and everyone was playing truth or dare…”

^^^  
He and Scott were sitting in the Jeep outside of Java Beans. The Jeep gave a little wobble, letting Stiles know that he needed to drive or turn the car off before it overheated. So Stiles turned the car off. 

Scott looked so hopeful, Stiles just didn’t have it in him to crush his best friend’s spirit. But he wasn’t going to be the dumbass that didn’t warn him. 

“What Ally says isn’t going to make you feel better. You know that right?”

Scott contemplated for a moment, “Just hearing the truth will make me feel better. I know this isn’t going to be a moment where we instantly fall back in love with each other.”

Stiles kept his eyes forward. 

“But I did love her and I think I always will and it would be cool to be good with her again.”

“What about Kira?”

“She knows I’m doing this, she was the one who really wanted me to talk to her. She even told me she couldn’t be with me if I was this angry.” 

Who knew it would be shy, soft-spoken, Kira Yukimura who would force Scott into doing something that Stiles had been subtly hinting at for fucking months. 

“You should talk to Derek.”

Stiles couldn’t help but laugh.

“Seriously.”

“Why do you care about him so much? He was never friends with us until the end of junior year. We owe him no loyalty.”

“He considers us his best friends.”

“So did Isaac, remember?”

That shut Scott up. 

They sat in silence for a few moments before they both saw Ally walk into the coffee shop. 

“I’m just so tired of being angry, it’s exhausting. I slept better last night than I had in months because I realized that I was going to go in today and forgive her- no matter what. Yeah, Isaac is an asshole but honestly, I’m hoping to end this year without any resentment and without totally hating high school, you know?”

That shut Stiles up. 

“Derek’s been nice, Stiles. He really has.”

He was now starting to get a little angry at Scott for being Derek’s champion. “How in the fuck has he been nice?”

Scott gave him a skeptical look. “For one, the dude always has weed, always smokes us out no questions asked.”

Stiles nodded, that was a fair point and he could give that to Scott.

“Second, he took care of you the night you got extremely wasted and never said a word about the stuff you told him. In fact, he’s never brought it up since.”

“Wait,” He held up his hand to stop Scott, “What did I tell him.”

“You were talking about your mom and Scarlett. You told him about her.

Stiles reeled back, a little stunned by what Scott said. Stiles never spoke about her and never wanted to. He never felt that emotional about the whole situation but it was something that was never mentioned by him or his father. It was just a fact and part of their lives, a baby hand print and footprint hanging in his father’s bedroom and along with a certificate that said she was an organ donor. It was always hard to talk about and his mother didn’t like talking about it when she was pregnant with her either. 

Scott’s voice was soft now, “He literally called me in a panic, wondering what he should do to help you before you got out of control. Derek got you out of that party before you could say or do anything else and never held that over your head.” 

Fuck. Maybe he wasn't the worst person in the world. “It doesn’t change the fact that he slept with Lydia.”

“Dude,” Scott said rolling his eyes, “You did too.”

“Or the Isaac thing.”

Scott leveled him with a glare, “Do you really and truly think he would do that?”

Stiles banged his fists against his steering wheel. “I don’t know, dude. We barely know him.” 

“All I’m saying is that being angry sucks and I’m going to forgive all these people so that I can forget them and leave Beacon Hills with some dignity and freedom.”

“You sound like an Abercrombie ad or something.”

Scott twisted to get out of the car, Stiles watched his hand hanging on the handle begin to tremble. “Well, here goes nothing.”

Stiles wanted to say something reassuring, he wanted to settle some of Scott’s nerves before he went in to slay the literal dragon in Scott McCall’s life but instead he smiled at his best friend and said nothing. 

^^^  
Derek was woken up by the sound of the doorbell ringing and found that a little odd but didn’t really care that much. It wasn’t like there were solicitors and other various people who stopped by during the weekend. Cora always had a group of girls over and his father always met with a few marketers. So he gripped his pillow tighter and tried to fall back to sleep. 

Until he heard the sound of obnoxious knocking on his door and saw Cora peeking inside. “Go away. I don’t want to play with you and your little friends.”

“Well actually, I’m wondering if you’re going to get up and play with your little friend.”

He pulled his head off of his pillow and asked, “What are you talking about?” Just as he saw Cora open the door more to reveal Stiles waiting in the doorway. 

“Hey, I'm not that little! Aw, man. Cora!” Stiles sighed and turned to Cora, “Your brother is sleeping! You’re not suppose to wake him up on my account!” Then Stiles turned to him, “You’re sleeping, I’ll just talk to you later.” 

Derek was too stunned to say anything, he was still processing the fact that it wasn’t a dream and that Stiles was actually standing in his doorway turning to leave. 

He pushed back the covers on his bed and walked to his closet as fast as he could, “No, it’s okay. I’m getting up. Let me just grab a shirt.” 

Of course, his only clean t-shirt would be the grey and faded Beacon Hills Lacrosse shirt. 

Cora left Stiles and trotted back down the stairs.

“So,” Stiles said as Derek rooted around in his drawer for a plain white shirt and some socks, “Do you frequently play with Cora and her little friends? Please tell me that they give you make-overs and you let them play with your hair and give you eye-liner?”

Derek couldn’t find a white t-shirt so he settled for the lacrosse shirt and threw it on. “Hey, he pointed his finger at Stiles, "They can make a really amazing avocado and honey face mask!”

Stiles stared at him, for a minute and then busted out laughing, “Oh my god, dude. I can totally see that!” 

Derek sat on his bed to put his socks on, he was in too much shock to really understand why Stiles would be standing in his bedroom right now watching him get dressed. The last time he saw him, he refused to even look in his vicinity and now he was standing in Derek’s bedroom, eyes shiny with tears from laughing. 

Derek didn’t want to break this spell because he knew that Stiles was here for something but he couldn’t really take another minute of Stiles full body laughing, clutching his middle for support. 

“So, what’s up?”

Stiles swiped at his eyes. “Well I was wondering if you wanted to go get lunch? Maybe we could go spy on Ally and Scott who are meeting at Java Beans right now? Or we could could go play catch? I’m just really bored and would prefer to be outside while the weather is nice.” 

“Yeah,” Derek shouted and then cleared his throat, “We, uhhh, can do whatever.” 

“Sweet. Let’s get lunch by where they are meeting for coffee so we can inconspicuously spy on them and then go to the park or something.”

Derek really couldn't understand what was happening and in the back of his mind he contemplated this being a huge elaborate prank that he set up to embarass Derek and make him pay for hurting him and Scott. “That sounds good to me.” 

“Badass,” Stiles said and he drummed his finger along Derek’s desk. 

Derek pulled on his Van’s and walked up to Stiles, motioning for him to go. 

As they walked down the stairs he called out to his mom that he was leaving and then mustered up the courage to ask Stiles if he still hated him. 

Stiles, turned to him. “I really don’t feel like hating you anymore. Scott said that about Ally today. He just said he was so tired of being angry and hating her. So that’s what I’m doing right now.”

They were almost to the Jeep and he grabbed Stiles arm. “I swear I didn’t hang out with you guys just for Isaac to hook up with Ally, I swear to fucking god I didn’t do that.”

Stiles gently pulled his arm out of his grasp and shrugged. “I just really don’t care either way anymore.” 

“Stiles,” he pleaded, “I don’t want you thinking that I could ever do that to another person. I could never do that, I’m not that type of person.” 

“Like I said, I don’t care.”

Derek could help the tenor of his voice from raising as he said, “I do!”

Stiles opened the driver side door and leaned over to click the passenger side lock off so Derek could slide in. “I just heard you say that you willingly hang out with your little sister and her friends who then give you face masks and all of this you do willingly.” He turned the car on, the Jeep grumbling to life, “I know you can’t be that evil.”

Derek slumped in his seat slightly embarrassed but thankful that Stiles was at least here, talking to him and wanting to spend time with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have it outlined. Thank you, Hurricane Harvey for completely ruining any weekend plans for me.


	9. Chapter 9

Stiles sat on his bed with Scott, who could do nothing but lay there and make the most minimal amount of movement possible. He would let out a high pitched groan for ice cream, a semi loud groan for food, and then a screaming groan for the pain of being broken up with by Allison Argent. Scott didn’t realize that talking to Ally would be this devastating and that forgiveness was going to be hard, especially because Ally had said that she fell out of love with Scott and found Isaac attractive instead and that’s kind of horrible. Scott now understands why she didn’t tell him. 

Scott had said that Derek knew about this the whole time and because he and Ally were really good friends, he refused to tell Scott because it was something Ally needed to do. So when Aiden overheard them talking and joking about how Derek must have become friends with them so she could swoop in and get with Isaac, he decided to use that information to his advantage. 

It sounded like something Aiden would do because Aiden is totally a bad person. But honestly, the verdict still wasn't out on if Derek was evil or not. You can love your family and still be evil. 

He and Ally had been best friends forever though, that was part of the story that he could be certain of. And he also heard that he hooked up with her cousin or something a while ago.

Bitch.

He looked at his best friend wallowing, he could only rub his back and try to be comforting but he wasn’t doing a very good job and Scott needed something to make him feel better before he lost his mind. It kind of hit him that this was the break up that people always talk about on tv, the wallowing, the eating, the random crying. This was it- this was Scott being officially dumped- no more anger and hatred, just pure sadness. 

There was only one cure to this heartbreak, he thought. A road trip.

Stiles shook Scott roughly. “Call Kira, dude, and let's go to the beach.” 

Scott shrugged, “I really need to be studying for AP tests.” Then Scott’s faced got tight and he began to cry again.

Now he really wanted to go to the beach. “Come on, dude! Pack your backpack, grab your notes, books and let's make a day of it! Study under the sun and all that jazz. Here,” he picked up Scott’s phone, “I’ll call Kira!”

Scott flipped over to face him and pulled his phone from Stiles hand. “Nah, Kira knows what’s up and understands.”

“Come on, Scotty. I’ll invite Derek! I’ll be able to show you that I’ve made peace with him!”

Scott smiled ever so slightly and he knew that he had won the battle. “Yes! Okay, I’ll text Derek and you call Kira! I’ll make us sandwiches or something.” 

^^^  
Derek felt his phone buzz in his pocket and pulled it out to see a message from Stiles. 

Stiles: What kind of sandwich do you want?

It was a really confusing text message and he wondered if it was actually code for drugs or something a little more sinister than a sandwich. 

So he replied with: 

Me: I think you texted the wrong person.

Stiles: Nah, I’m making sandwiches rn.

Stiles: Grab your backpack and anything you want to bring to the beach bc we are making a day trip. 

Derek: That’s an hour and thirty minute drive!

Stiles: I know, grab your shit and get over here.

Stiles: And tell me what kind of fucking sandwich you want. 

Derek: PB&J

Stiles: Classic

Derek: See you in 20

Derek stared at his bowl of cereal and then tried to eat it as fast as he could while grabbing some bottled waters and throwing them into a plastic bag. 

He peeked into the fridge to see if there might be any fruit or something to throw in the bag along with the water bottles. A plastic bag filled with water bottles seemed kind of pathetic.

“What are you doing?”

Derek jerked back and flinched, “God mom, don’t sneak up on me like that.”

She gave him a smile and nodded her head like she still wanted him to answer her original question. 

“I’m going to the park with Scott and Stiles.” He knew it was better to lie to his mom right now because if he said the beach then she would be constantly texting him and making sure he was safe and he just wasn’t up for that today, not when Stiles was willingly inviting him to go somewhere with him. 

Her eyebrows quirked up, “Really? You haven’t mentioned them in a while.” 

“Stiles was over here yesterday.” 

Her mom rummaged through the tupperware drawer and pulled out a cooler for him to put the bottled waters in. “Oh, I know. I let that squirrely little boy in.”

Derek grabbed some apples and grapes and threw them in the cooler as well and then headed towards the pantry to see if there were anymore gatorades. He watched his mom carefully arrange the apples and grapes in a more orderly fashion and Derek stopped himself from sighing and rolling his eyes. 

“He’s not that squirrely.”

“Oh, yes he is. It’s endearing though.” 

She came up to him and pulled him into a hug and kissed his forehead, “Be good. Don’t let those boys get you into trouble.” 

“Mom, they aren’t that wild.” 

“Honey,” his mom cooed as she delicately pushed the hair off his forehead, “The school officials called a special parent-teacher conference when you were in 1st grade because those boys were in the same class and set the curtains on fire. I know exactly how wild they are.”

^^^

Stiles really didn't think this trip through- yes, the beach and being in the sun with his friends would be an awesome change of pace and super fun but that’s as far as his thinking went. It was poor planning on his part, he knew it once they pulled into the grove of trees that shielded the Jeep from the ocean. 

It was the beach, he realized, which meant swimming and water and being half naked. Derek being half naked. Being half naked for an extended amount of time. 

When they unloaded everything on a towel under a shady spot, Derek threw off his shirt and ran to the ocean, Scott mirroring him and shoving him the whole time, they were laughing and half wresting, Derek pushed Scott into the sand and then threw himself into the ocean. Stiles almost threw the blankets and coolers he was holding on the ground and drove back to Beacon Hills right then. Fuck his life. 

Stiles must have not paid attention to Derek without a shirt on. It must have slipped his mind. Must have been the last thing on his mind in the locker room. What the fuck was he doing? Actively avoiding it, that’s what.

Now he was staring at the hottest body he’d ever seen, yeah, he’s comparing it to porn, too. He had to force himself not to get into his car and drive away. His hatred for Derek Hale grew exponentially. 

Derek hanging around him in just his swim trunks and then coming from the ocean to the shaded blanket and throwing on a t-shirt, his hair hanging down and not styled and perfected, was too much for him to handle. So he tried his hardest not to say a word. 

Stiles burned with rage. No one should look that good.

The second time that Derek ran over to the blanket that he was laying on, he almost catapulted onto him. 

Derek laid down with his head propped up with his hand and settled next to him unreasonably close and Stiles could feel all points of contact. He looked into his eyes, the sun behind him illuminating the water droplets that hung on his skin and the ends of his eyelashes. He was internally screaming so loud he thought his head might literally explode. “So, what kind of sandwich did you pack for yourself?”

“Um,” That stopped the rage momentarily and now he kind of felt embarrassed by his choice, especially because Derek went with such a classic, “So, don’t laugh, but I make a turkey sandwich and then put funyuns on it.”

Derek rummaged through his backpack and hmm’d to himself, “Is it good?”

“The actual best.”

“Then I’m taking a bite.” 

Derek flopped down a let out a moan, “I can’t believe AP exams are next week and then Spring Break.” His hands covering his face and scratching them down his cheeks.

“I know.” 

Derek looked up at him and stared at him, his fingers twirled a thread that was hanging loose on Stiles’ shorts and he almost stopped breathing, “Are you nervous?”

Stiles couldn’t really answer, the question caught him off guard and with Derek laying next to him, looking up at him so open and honest, he didn’t want to break the eye contact, “I.. uhhh… about what?”

“The AP exams.” 

He pulled himself out of fantasizing about Derek and moved to grab his Government textbook, breaking the point of contact with Derek’s fingers. “Only about government.” He let out a high pitched laugh that sounded horribly fake, “I started studying Biology weeks ago thank god.”

Derek moved away from Stiles and grabbed his highlighter and book from his bag, “Really? With who?”

Stiles couldn’t help but wish that it was jealously in Derek’s voice, but then stopped short when he realized that he always studied biology before he met up with Danny and couldn’t really tell him that he’d been having a sexual identity crisis with Danny before his afternoon runs. “Oh, uh, Danny. He runs on Mondays and Thursdays so I would study with him for a little.” 

Derek nodded, focusing on finding the right page.

They spent the rest of the afternoon in companionable silence. Every now and then Kira and Scott would come study but they mostly hung by the beach and cuddled, or splashed each other with water by the edge of the shore. 

Derek would stretch out, his legs brushing against Stiles feet or thighs. When they ate, Derek took a huge bite off of his sandwich and said it really was the best. Derek’s private smiles were the most beautiful and the absolute worst. 

He really tried not to talk that much and see if Derek would open up, he just didn’t want to fight and knew that if they started really talking, Stiles would have the conversation heated in a second. He didn’t want to admit that Derek did that to him, that he made him get worked up and excited over little things. Their constant bickering was why he found Derek Hale to be so mean in the first place and he really wanted to stop believing he was evil.

Slowly, very slowly, as Scott would say, he was learning that it was mainly him that made the conversation so heated. 

So, instead of working himself up, he was going to use Derek to help him be quiet. 

He just couldn’t stop thinking about Derek without a shirt on and that was working him up in other ways. He kept repeating the mantra “He doesn’t like you. He doesn’t like you. He doesn’t like you. He doesn’t like you,” over and over until his body caught up to his mind. 

Derek threw down his highlighter and shut it in his book. “Come swim.” 

“Uhhhh,” There was no goddamn way in hell he was taking his shirt off and swimming with Derek Hale right next to him, “Nah, it’s late and I’m already cold.”

“Okay, I’m jumping in one last time. At least come in the sun and get your toes wet.”

Stiles sighed and closed his highlighter in his textbook, “Fine.”

Derek took off his t shirt again and Stiles tried to avoid looking at the spot by his hips where his stomach hair grew and where his abs contracted with the muscle memory. 

Then Derek ran and Stiles got up to follow behind him. 

He sat by the beach with Kira and played in the sand while Derek and Scott jumped in the water and tried dunking the each other. It was funny to see Derek come up from the water with his hair laying flat against his forehead and it was funny to see Scott struggle to overpower Derek and fail. 

Even though he and Kira laughed and cheered them on, he couldn’t help but feel kind of left out. 

He wasn’t that close with Derek and with the way his body responded to seeing Derek without a shirt on, he was never going to be able to be that close- underwater wrestling was officially off the table forever. 

At around 7 the sun started to set and everyone started complaining about the cold and Stiles only had a long sleeved shirt and that wasn’t cutting it anymore. His teeth started to chatter and it was kind of embarrassing. 

They loaded up the car, all the backpacks, trash, half empty water bottles, and blankets being shoved into the the small ‘trunk’ in the back of the Jeep when Scott yelled, “I’m sitting in back with Kira.” 

Derek caught him mid-eye roll and they both couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that. 

“Hey, make sure you shake out your shoes and that blanket before you load it up! The Jeep doesn’t appreciate sand in her crevices just like humans don’t!” 

They didn’t get back on the road until 8, meaning they wouldn’t be home until almost 10 and the thought of waking up early to take his first AP test was giving him anxiety. 

‘Man, Scott, I’m sorry we won’t be home until late. I know you’re really counting on these AP exam scores.”

Scott looked at him in the rearview mirror, his arm hanging loosely around Kira who was staring out the window intently. “It’s okay, dude. Today was kind of worth it.”

He couldn’t stop himself from looking at Derek and saw that he was facing him with a slight grin on his face. He looked back towards the road. “You’re right.” 

Derek was the first to fall asleep on the way back, his head lolling to the side with every turn. Scott and Kira were wrapped up in each other and he couldn’t decipher if they were sleeping in the back or trying to be gross and inappropriate in the back. 

So he turned on the radio and watched the glare from the yellow reflective strips on the road blink with each pass and turn. 

This was his favorite thing in the world. Just driving and letting the world slip under him. There was a freedom in driving down open roads with the nice hum of the engine and the soft melodies coming out of the old and tired speakers. Driving always seemed to focus him, all too often his friends would tell him that he’d always zone out and focus more while driving than at any other point in his life. 

He thinks it’s because his mom would load him up on Saturday’s, especially during spring when the air was cool and crisp and just drive with him. Even as a little boy he’d stick his hand out the window and would let the wind whoosh in his face, making his hair permanently windswept. He loved how the pine trees blended into one giant mass of trees. He loved smelling the air and knowing it was the best air he could breathe. He would think about her on the winding roads, slamming on the brakes to compensate for the speed and the sharp turns. Her hair permanently windswept and tangled on those bright spring mornings. He liked driving because it brought him closer to his mom and the memories of her. 

He was yanked from the memories of his mother when Derek had moved his arm to rest on the center console next to his. He didn't really know the protocol for this situation so he was just going to play it cool. He quickly removed his arm to give Derek more space since he was the guest in this car. 

He didn’t really trust himself to look over at Derek, he didn’t really want to either. He couldn’t risk seeing his sleeping form and hate him even more for looking good while sleeping. He couldn’t risk it. He just looked toward the horizon and remembered they’d be home in less than an hour. 

In northern California, the bunnies, deer, and other wildlife were a hazard year round and right now with the full moon and spring starting, he had to focus on not hitting every single mammal that crossed or darted in his path. It was like a weird game of frogger where the cars swerved and slammed on their breaks to miss the frogs. The swerving was the worst part because he would never know if the animal would keep going forward or back away. So he insisted on going nowhere above 40 miles per hour. 

After dodging a particularly fat possum he glanced over to see Derek wide awake and watching him. He turned back quickly so he could focus, and used his left arm to do most of the driving while his right arm rested by his side.

All of a sudden he felt Derek’s fingers barely touch him. The touch was featherlight and if he focused on it he could swear that it really wasn’t even there. He didn’t know what he was suppose to do. He was so afraid of moving and breaking this small moment that he would have hit every animal on the road just to keep Derek’s fingers on his arm. 

The ‘Welcome to Beacon Hills’ sign was honestly a sign of relief. He could get Derek home first, then Kira, and then Scott. He could get Derek to stop touching him and making him feel this way. He could go to sleep and wake up to take an AP test in the morning and everything would be normal. But he could miss a turn and keep Derek’s touch on him for a moment longer. 

He missed that turn. 

Instead he turned down Maple and prayed to every higher power that Derek didn’t know that this was an attempt to keep him in the car longer. 

He refused to look over to see if Derek was looking at him, he couldn’t do it. He just wanted to keep Derek where he was for as long as he could. The drive down Maple was slow, not glacial- even though that’s what he really wanted, but slow enough and Stiles thanked every higher power for the firm pressure that was still on his arm. 

The thing about this whole situation was that he and Scott held hands and hugged and were very affectionate. There were boundaries that they crossed that they didn’t even know were boundaries for others. It was because Melissa and the Sheriff didn’t have the heart to tell them that holding hands and hugs and cheek kisses were inappropriate when they got to a certain age. Sometimes he’d catch himself and not hold Scott’s hand and sometimes he’d see Scott sort of stop himself before kissing his cheek in adoration. 

If Scott had been touching his arm right now, he’d think nothing of it. It would just be a drop in a bucket of countless broken boundaries that they have shared over the years. This was Derek, though, and there were new rules. Or maybe there wasn’t, Derek could be trying to mimic what Scott usually did, he didn’t know. 

He never knew when it came to Derek because his intentions were never made clear. 

Derek’s hand moved down, his fingers trailing delicately across his skin, until his index and middle finger were wrapped around Stiles’ ring and pinky fingers. 

Whenever Scott held his hand like this his blood pressure never got this out of control, that’s for fucking sure. 

In this moment, Derek seemed so vulnerable and nice- which were traits he wasn’t used to experiencing with Derek. 

And he definitely wasn’t used to experiencing any amount of tenderness with another person, which was depressing when he thought about it. Like how when he was with Heather, she would hold his hand like this frequently and it wasn’t some magical experience. It was never Heather being sweet and gentle, it was usually something she did to make herself feel like she was being a dutiful girlfriend. When he would hook up with other random people, the experience was hands-on but never soft and delicate. This was something so completely new to him, he didn’t even have any words to explain it. 

When the end of Maple came into view, he almost grabbed Derek’s hand and held on tighter. Derek gave his hand a slight squeeze which was something either reflexive or reassuring because moments after he let Stiles’ hand go completely. It was a relief and horrible at the same time.

He pulled into Derek's driveway, the gravel crunching under the tires, the door squeaking and groaning when Derek opened the passenger side door. An unseasonably cold breeze travelled across the Jeep forcefully and it gave him goosebumps and made him start shaking. The shaking and the goosebumps could have been from what had just happened a few minutes before but he was going to blame the cold. 

Derek slung his backpack over his shoulder and gave Stiles a salute. 

Stiles coughed, “Thanks for coming today.” 

Derek gave him a small smile and shut the door.

He watched as Derek climbed his porch stairs and opened his front door, he gave a quick glance to backward to Stiles. Once he knew Derek was safely inside, he put the Jeep in reverse and pulled out of the driveway, still shaking from the cold. 

^^^

AP test week was the one week a year that nobody saw anybody. Inside of the school or outside of the school. Parents were strict about studying and getting rest and eating right. Coaches were strict about NO PRACTICING- although, Finstock would be willing to break that rule if they were in the finals. It was always something that he shouted at all the lacrosse players on a regular basis. 

It wasn’t necessarily bad, he thought to himself. He needed a break from Stiles and Scott no matter how much he liked them. 

He really needed a break from Stiles, though, that was for sure. 

He still can’t believe he held his fucking hand in the car. 

He was so fucking embarrassed but at least Stiles seemed cool with it. Even now he’d catch a glimpse of Stiles smiling at him in the hall or during a test break. 

He was falling in love with a straight guy who was too kind to tell him to not hold his hand and it was probably going to kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friends and I were notorious for random ass road trips to wherever. Also, the intimacy thing between Scott and Stiles is a real thing that my best friend and I do to this day. We still hold hands and cheek kisses and it's because nobody told us to stop- so now we have issues deciphering if someone is being friendly or if someone is being flirty because we never learned the difference.
> 
> Also, we did actually build a fort in october one year and almost froze to death sleeping outside with no blankets or anything because of poor planning.


	10. Chapter 10

Spring Break was a welcome relief from the torments of all AP tests. In fact, the friday evening after everyone was done with their AP tests no one had the energy to do anything- literally anything. Lydia said she was going to sleep the whole weekend because she wasn’t going to risk getting a huge breakout and/or wrinkles right before taking her senior portraits. Scott mumbled something along the lines of leave me alone when Stiles dropped him off at his house and said bye. 

Derek looked like hell by friday and he hoped he was going home to get some sleep as well. It’s not like he was going to text him or anything, they weren’t that close yet no matter what had happened last weekend. 

Danny told him to choke when he jokingly asked what he was doing this evening. It might not have been a joke though, Danny could be mean when he wanted. 

They could all afford a Friday away from partying since it was Spring Break and they had the whole week to be reckless and then subsequently, get into trouble. 

Plus, he hated to admit it but, he kind of wanted to go home and have his dad baby him for an evening. He knew his dad was going to make dinner, probably bring him ice cream, maybe sneak in a trip to get french fries. His dad always babied him after an exhausting week, it was kind of his thing. And he couldn’t fucking wait.

^^^ 

Derek was rudely awoken by having a large mass thrown on him. It was horribly rude and then it started moving to make things even worse. And then it started yelling things. He was thankfully trapped under the blankets so the yelling was a little muffled but the monster kept yelling things.

Things like, “Okay, Der, mom said I had to wait to wake you up until at least 10 and now it’s 10:01 and wake up!” The creature shook him violently and he felt the urge to call this monster Laura. But his sister could never be this horrible. 

“Derek.” A violent shake. 

“Derek.” Another violent shake. 

“Derek.” A full force body slam against his side. 

“Derek.” Then a wet finger in his ear. 

He tried to roll from underneath her, his brain still not fully awake and ready to face a whole week with Laura. “Please don’t.”

“Derek! C’mon! You can sleep all week and catch up, you should be so thankful that I waited this long.”

“Okay, okay, okay, can I please put some pants on?”

“Ew," she slightly recoiled from him,"Do you sleep naked?”

“No, but I am only wearing my boxers and I have wood.”

Laura scrambled off of him screaming, “Oh my god you disgusting little fucker.”

Derek poked his head from under his comforter, “I’m an 18 year old boy. What do you expect?” 

“I brought some doughnuts but now you don’t get any because you’re gross.”

“Oh, fuck you. Sorry I have normal bodily functions.” 

“Laura Grace Hale and Derek Samuel Hale!” They both froze at the sound of their full names being yelled by their mother, “You better stop with the language.” 

They looked at each other, smiling and said in unison. “Yes Ma’am.”

“Can you leave so I can put some pants on?”

Laura rolled her eyes and slammed the door behind her. 

^^^

Scott was holding the Playstation controller loosely in his hand, boredom already beginning to settle. “We need to do something fun!”

“What’s Kira doing?”

“She’s running errands with her mom.”

“Oh.”

“C’mon, let’s think of something fun!”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, dude.” Scott sighed. “Remember when we were like 10 and could find so many different things to do?”

Stiles flopped onto his back, “I still remember when we tried to build a fort down in the valley behind my backyard.”

“Dude!” Scott shook him a little more roughly than necessary, “That’s it!”

Stiles rolled over to face Scott, “What?”

Scott pushed his arm, “Let’s build the fort! Let’s finish what we started!” 

He let out a sound that came close to sounding like ‘Meh’ but it was a little more lethargic. He had to admit that Scott looked pretty hopeful and happy to do it and keeping Scott McCall happy was his ultimate goal in life. 

He rolled his eyes, “Ugh, fine!”

Scott smiled that stupid adorable puppy dog smile, “I’ll call Kira and tell her to meet us here when she’s done! You call Derek?”

There was a suspicious inflection at the end of Scott’s question that he really really didn’t appreciate. “What was that?”

Scott backtracked, “Hmm, what do you mean?”

“That question.”

“I just meant that you guys were cool enough now to be on,” and he used finger quotes for this, “speaking terms now.”

Stiles squinted and studied his best friend to see if he was actually lying, “I don’t like your tone.” But then he grabbed his phone and started texting Derek. 

Stiles: We are building a fort at my house. Come over.

Derek: I can’t unless Laura can come

Derek:I’m suppose to be spending time with her :( 

Stiles: You can bring Laura, we love Laura.

Derek: I’ll text you later and see if she wants to come.

“Okay, I asked Derek and he said maybe because Laura is home.”

Scott perked up, “I love Laura. She can come!” 

He reached over and patted his cheek, “That’s what I told him.” 

^^^ 

“Derek,” Laura whined, “We have to go over there and build a fort with them.”

“No, you’ll do something or say something and I’m not risking it.”

She pulled her hands in front of her like she was praying. “I swear to god I won’t.”

“Then why do you even want to go over there?”

“I miss them.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Okay, I just really want to see how you and Stiles interact with each other!” 

“Fuck no.”

“Please?”

Derek dropped his voice down and couldn’t really stop the harsh tone, “Laura, this is my fucking life. What if he finds out that I do like him and he’s weirded out? Then I don’t have friends.”

“First off,” Laura whispered right back to him, “I wouldn’t be that fucking inconsiderate, despite what you think of me.” Then she stood up and levelled him with a glare, “Second off, they were my friends first. And finally, Stiles is way too intimate with Scott to be fully straight, we all know this.” 

Derek pouted, even though he tried his hardest not to, “Then let’s just not see them at all.”

Laura raised her eyebrows and smirked. “Fine by me, loser.” 

^^^ 

Stiles was standing under the giant piece of lumber that Scott was holding with one hand while he held tightly onto a tree branch with the other, he was angling the lumber toward the side of the valley so it could be their second story and shouted up to Scott, “Derek says Laura is being a bitch so he can’t come.”

“Dude,” Scott said through ragged breathing, “We need some more muscle or one of us is going to die.” 

“I’ll text Danny.”

“Text more people than just Danny! This is like a 12-man operation.” 

Stiles: Danny. Come build a fort with us.

Stiles: …

Stiles: Please.

Danny: What the fuck stiles

Danny: Scott and I need more muscle because we are struggling

Danny: I can bring Ethan

“Hey Scott, do we still hate Ethan because Danny said he can bring him?”

Scott postiioned the lumber correctly and began climbing down, “No, not when he’s willing to help. We can’t hate anyone if they’re willing to help.”

Stiles: Bring him

Stiles: You can bring whoever you want honestly

Danny: Be there in 20

Stiles: Cool we are down in the valley behind my house

^^^ 

Apparently Stiles and Scott were inviting everyone to come over because he got texts from Jackson, Danny, and Allison asking if he needed a ride or would give them a ride over to the Stilinski house.

He was so fucking furious that Laura was here, even though he did love her of course. A mantra he kept repeating to himself over and over again. He just wanted to go over there and help and she was ruining it for him. 

As soon as he thought of all the ways he could ditch Laura, she came up and hugged him from behind, “Can we please go watch Stiles, Scott, and all your other loser friends work with power tools? I really want to watch Jackson cut off a finger.”

Derek really really wanted to go and help.

“Derek, come on! I won’t say anything, I just want to see Ally and Danny. I swear to god I won’t even talk to Stiles.”

Derek grunted. 

Laura swiveled against his neck, “That’s a yes, isn’t it?” She said pulling away to examine him.

“Yes, fine, let’s go.”

^^^ 

It was so hot. So so so fucking hot. Scott was still perched in the tree but now with his shirt wrapped around his forehead to keep the sweat from falling in his eyes and Stiles was using his shirt to mop up some of the blood on his arm after slicing himself with the razor knife. 

He could probably benefit from some stitches but would settle for some super glue and not telling his dad and mama McCall about this, in all honestly. 

As he mopped up all the blood he saw Jackson, Lydia, Danny, Ethan, and Allison break through the clearing laughing and giggling together. 

“What’s up guys!?” Danny called out.

Scott responded with laughter and a loud thanks to God, or Allah, or Moses, whoever.

Jackson pushed Stiles out of the way and started criticizing their labor. Lydia saw his shirt covered in blood and told him to go get a bandaid. He almost laughed. Allison took his spot and started hammering in the nails to the bottom deck- doing a much better job than he did. Seriously, he can’t even remember why he needed the razor knife in the first place. 

Stiles walked back up to his house, blood now dropping from the shirt when he saw Kira, Derek, and Laura open the fence that lead through his backyard. The sun illuminating all of them.  
“Laura! You made it!”

Laura screamed and leaped for him but stopped when she saw the blood. 

“I don’t handle blood very well so I’m going to help the crew.” Laura said avoiding getting near him. 

Kira smiled and gave him a thumbs up and walked with Laura- letting him know she was not going to participate in whatever he was doing either.

Derek stood in the clearing of trees staring at him, his eyes focused on his arm. “Need any help?”

“Sure,” he sad smirking, “You can super glue my skin back together.”

Derek cringed, “Stiles, what the fuck?”

He laughed, “I’m going to get a band aid, you can help if you want.”

Derek shrugged and walked alongside him. 

It was weird walking with Derek inside his house, just the two of them. He watched him close the screen door behind him, take the stairs two at a time like him, it was like he was disassociating without actually disassociating. It was like seeing potential energy in motion without their being any actual potential.

He walked into his bathroom and sat on the toilet, holding his arm. He was totally and completely aware that he was shirtless and felt slightly embarrassed by that. But the shirt was swollen with his blood and he was actually a little worried about what he would see when he took the shirt off the wound. 

He positioned it to the side and unwrapped it little by little and he watched the blood drip on the floor and could do nothing to stop it. 

Derek crouched down to get some toilet paper off the roll next to him to mop it up. 

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Stiles couldn’t keep his hands from shaking as he tried to pull the shirt off of his arm. The blood wasn’t concerning to him, no. Blood was no big deal. 

Seeing the open skin on his arm, the white flesh of your dermis, maybe seeing the red of your muscles- that was concerning to him, that was when you know you’ve really fucked up.

“Here,” Derek said as he stilled Stiles' shaking hand. 

Derek positioned himself to where he was crouching and looking up at Stiles, he gently pushed his arm to lay against his thighs. The tenderness was overwhelming. He grabbed the shirt gently off of his arm and unwrapped it as softly as he could. 

He wanted to look away but he couldn't stop staring at the way Derek’s eyelashes fanned out against his cheeks. From this position he could see Derek’s hair sticking up from where his cowlick wasn’t flattened. It was so endearing. It was so painful.

When Derek pulled the shirt off the cut he made a hissing sound. “I think we might need to call Mama McCall.”

Stiles almost pulled his arm out of his grasp, “No, we can’t.” He still refused to look at the actual wound though.

Derek studied his arm, he could feel him squeezing the skin back together, “Does your dad have any butterfly bandages.”

Stiles shrugged.

“What about medical tape?” 

"Second drawer on the left." He told him with a little bit of pride. Yeah, he had a bandaid drawer. He was fucking prepared.

Derek rolled his eyes and got up to grab the medical tape out of his bandaid drawer.

Stiles watched him cut a piece of tape into 4 strips, he placed one strip on the one side of the wound, which was horrible, and then another parallel to the first one and did the same thing to the opposite side. Once he did that, he cut the strips down the middle and pulled the strips together and taped them criss-cross across the wound, sealing it together and stopping the bleeding almost instantly. 

“Viola!” Derek said as he stood up.

Stiles watched him wash his hands in his sink, trying not to stare at his back. Stiles held his arm, looking at the way the tapes pulled the skin together and he felt almost completely healed. 

“Dude,” he couldn’t keep the awe out of his voice, “Thank you so fucking much.” 

Derek gave him a smile from the mirror as he dried his hands with a towel, “It’s no problem, I feel bad that it’s not completely sterile.” Then he grabbed a big square bandage, slathered neosporin on it and put it on top of the tape, “There! Now it’s a little more sterile.” 

Stiles looked up at Derek, his face probably gave him away, Derek could probably see it in his face, but he just smiled back at him completely unaware or what was happening in his brain. 

Well, Stiles was completely and totally, 100% fucked.

He always had a sense of pride that he could never, and would never fall in love but here he was, in love with Derek Hale and that was a fact. 

^^^

Derek high-tailed it out of that bathroom and away from Stiles’ proximity as fast as he could. Touching Stiles and holding his arm and then see his fucking horrific wound that almost grossed him out to the point of vomiting took a kind of strength that he didn’t know he even had honestly.

Everyone was down by the fort holding a power tool and he could see Laura on edge, waiting for someone to mess up so she could make fun of them- little did she know that it was Stiles who suffered the major injury. Ally was working on the base of the fort, which was nothing more than some plywood laid down between the valley wall and a mass of trees. Danny was holding her boards against the trees so she could keep the nails straight. Scott had Ethan and Jackson against the slope of the valley holding the lumber for him so he could smack the nails into the trees. 

Stiles came down from the houses moments after Derek did and Scott stopped to ask if he was okay. 

“Yeah dude, Derek,” then gestured toward him, “Did this thing with the tape that made stitches a thing of the past.” 

Stiles then turned to look at him, “It was amazing, you’re amazing, gah, thank you so much.” 

Derek didn’t know if everyone had stopped talking at that moment or if it was the feeling of being praised by Stiles that had sucked all the air and noise out of the forest completely but he heard every decibel that he spoke and the background noise dissipate in a moment. 

But when Stiles turned to go help Allison he saw that no one was phased by what Stiles was saying and that it was only Derek who felt like his earth was being shattered and rebuilt around Stiles’ voice. 

He saw Lydia at the bottom of the valley and walked over to her. She was watching everything from the lowest point of the valley, examining the way the boards were being laid, and making sure they were parallel to the trees and slope. 

“All of us are going to die out here,” she said to him without taking her eyes off of what the others were doing. “I guess always knew Stiles and Scott were going to be the indirect death of me.”

She shook her head and laughed.

Derek felt the same way. 

^^^

Once the sun started setting everyone began leaving.

All-in-all, he thought to himself, they got a lot of work done and a lot of things accomplished that he and Scott would never have being able to do on their own.

Danny and Ethan left first, then Lydia and Allison after they chatted with the Sheriff who gave them water and told them to stop encouraging Scott and Stiles' insane ideas.

Then Laura and Derek right behind them, Derek smiled to Stiles as he shut the door behind him.

Scott kicked him hard on the shin. 

Derek’s smile was a win. Scott seeing it and seeing the way Stiles flushed after, was not. 

And, if he was going to start counting his small daily victories, he had to add that having Derek’s hands on him for an extended amount of time today was also a definite win. 

^^^ 

Derek was curled up on the couch watching a Bob’s Burgers rerun when Laura plopped down on the couch right next to him. 

“You and Stiles were gone for a while today.”

Derek shrugged. He honestly didn't want to think about why he was up there with Stiles. He was trying to repress that, damnit. It was graphic. 

He pressed next as the episode ended. 

“What’s up with you and him?”

Derek shrugged again, unwilling to actually think about him and Stiles and what they were. They were nothing. Surface feelings were the best feelings in this situation. 

“Will you just give a little info? How can I help if you dont tell me whats going on?”

What did she mean 'help'? All of a sudden he was furious, furious at Laura for not minding her own business and butting in where she didn’t belong and not dropping the subject even though he had asked multiple times. She was pissing him off and he didn’t know how to stop the feelings of hatred that threatened to consume him. 

“Laura,” he said, sitting up to take a drink of water and turning to stare at her, ”like, I know you really don’t understand this, but I do not want your help with this.”

“Why?”

“Hmmm,” He brought his finger to his forehead and pretended to be thinking hard, and trying very hard to keep from screaming at her, “Why wouldn’t I want my older sister to help me with a crush I have on a guy who is very obviously straight and who very obviously doesn’t even really see me as a friend.” 

Then he leaned back against the couch and stared at the TV, “I really wonder why I don’t want your help, Laura, you’re right. Stupid me.” 

“Der,” she said softly, which only made him more angry with her, “What’s wrong with you?” 

Instead of answering her question, which was rhetorical anyway, he focused on Bob’s Burgers. 

“Maybe you could tell him and see how he feels.”

“Will you just fucking drop it?” He seethed, “Like why are you getting so much fucking enjoyment out of me being miserable? Is this fun for you?”

“Hey,” she said, staring at him with a horrified expression, “I’m really trying to help. I know that sometimes when I really like someone, I'll tell them and then I at least know where I stand with them.” 

Oh, the sarcasm dripped from his words. “You mean, in your straight, heterosexual crushes, you tell them? Wow Laura! How fantastic for you. Really paving the revolutionary way.”

“You are really fucking angry.” 

Derek kept staring straight ahead. 

“Is this because you have a crush on Stiles, as a person, and you hate it? Or because he’s a guy and you don’t want to like a guy?” 

He turned off the TV and got up to leave.

Laura blocked him from leaving but he didn’t look at her, “Answer the question.”

He finally looked down at his sister, tears threatening to form, “Do you think I want to be like this? Do you think I want to have a crush on my friend? I swear to god it’s like you think I wake up going ‘yay, I love having a crush on a guy! This is so fun’.” 

Laura, touched his cheek and he dropped his head down, “Please leave me alone and drop it, Laura.” 

She wrapped him up in her arms and tried to hold him but he didn’t want that, he wanted to go and be in his room and not talk about this anymore. He just wanted to be normal.

But Laura just held on tighter and Derek was suddenly too exhausted to fight it anymore. 

“Derek,” She said and held him close to her, “I’m sorry. I really am.” 

She held him for a moment, “Listen, I’m not going to tell mom and dad, I’m never going to tell your friends, I swear on my life if you don’t want anyone to know, nobody will know. But why, Derek? It’s not like this changes anything about you. So, you like guys? This doesn’t make you less of a person, or less of a man.” 

She pulled back from him and looked him in the eye, if he was being honest, it was really unnerving, “Being gay, bi, whatever isn’t a character flaw.”

“Laura, can we please stop this? Can I just go up to my room?” 

“Yes, I guess. But, like I said, whenever I tell people, I feel better. Maybe you don’t have to tell Stiles you like him, maybe you could tell him you like guys… sometimes.”

He scoffed so loud he almost choked. 

“Seriously. Maybe seeing his reaction will let you know what kind of person he is. If he’s intolerant then you don’t want him as your friend anyway and if he’s cool with it and still touchy-feely with you then you know he might be down.”

He wanted to stay mad at her but he couldn’t, he was too exhausted to care, and from the sound of what Scott and Stiles had said earlier, they were going to be forced back to the valley again tomorrow. 

He contemplated the idea of maybe saying he likes guys, but he wasn't there yet, he wasn’t ‘out and proud’ and might never be. What he needed was a good night's sleep and for his sister to be murdered. 

At least sleep would be achievable tonight. 

Laura finally released him and he was free to run upstairs and collapse face first on his bed. The clean clothes that were stacked neatly on his bed by his mother were dumped haphazardly to the floor and all the chewy bars and pop-tart wrappers were also thrown on the ground. He could clean it all up tomorrow morning before his mother would ever notice. 

He fished around under the covers for his phone and saw a text from Stiles.

Stiles: Thanks for today we really appreciated the help and thanks for fixing my arm

Derek’s heart raced and he struggled to come up with something witty to respond with.

Derek: No prob

Stiles: I know that I was skeptical of u and what u wanted from Scott and I and I’m glad you're our friend

He had literally no idea how to respond to this because Stiles had never said more than 7 words to him in text in his whole entire time with him. Stiles was a horrible texter and he knew it but it was weird seeing him express himself. He had no reason to suddenly start expressing himself... but oh well, he was going to roll with it. 

Also, Stiles actually said he was his friend.

Derek: I’m glad u don’t hate me

He set down his phone and flipped over to stare at the ceiling. He wished he could jack off, but he was too emotionally drained. Jacking off always made him feel a little better.

His phone dinged and then dinged two more times.

Stiles: never hated you

Stiles: well... before that party

Stiles: but I know you’re good

Derek: Thanks?

Stiles: It’s a compliment, I promise. take it as a compliment

Derek smiled broadly, this whole situation fucking sucked and he wanted more than anything to like someone else, to get butterflies over someone else. He could do this. He could do this. He could be perfectly calm and neutral and fun, like every other guy who isn’t in love with their friend.

Derek: I know. :)

Stiles: <3 

He banged his head against his pillow as hard as he could. God damn. 

^^^

The fort was a success. 

Well, in a way. 

They built the structure. Was it hideous? Oh god yes. Was it sturdy? Not particularly. Did everyone willingly sleep on it? Yes, of course. 

So, the fort wasn’t a rousing success, he could say, but it was fun just having everyone over at his house for the entire spring break. His father would occasionally come out and stare at everyone, at one point he brought a lawn chair, cracked open a beer and watched them. Then when everyone would go home his father would tell him all the ways he could improve the structure. And he would listen to what his father had to say but wouldn’t really pay attention. Overall, it was a fun excuse for everyone to come together and hang out. Something they would all remember. 

Plus, he noticed that everyone seemed to like waking up to the sound of birds. Oh, but they didn’t like almost freezing to death because it was March in Northern California. 

But he had to admit that the best and most rewarding part of the whole spring break was when he and Derek were forced to share a cot up on the 2nd level of the fort. It wasn’t sexual in the slightest but feeling Derek’s ass against his, and feeling him place his warm hand on his freezing bare knee to keep him from shaking might have been a weirdly defining moment for him. 

It sucked because when everyone was pairing off to sleep, Stiles realized that he was going to be sleeping with Derek and when Derek realized that he looked kind of horrified at the thought. 

But it was okay, they slept together. It was a feet-to-head situation in that tiny cot, but it was okay.

But wow, waking up to that cool, crisp, morning mountain air... That was perfection. He’d never really understood what people meant when they said that they woke up peacefully but he understood it now and loved it. Derek’s hand was still on his knee and the birds were singing and the fog was covering the lower valley. He shifted slightly and Derek gripped his knee a little tighter. 

It was a long week and it was filled with back breaking manual labor. 

But it was oh so good. 

^^^

Derek and Laura walked into the house at 8 am and went straight to the kitchen to eat cereal and warm up after freezing the whole night. 

So, that’s where they were, watching Spongebob from the kitchen island. 

Laura was the first to speak through the crunching of frosted flakes. “Der, remember when we were like 7 and would have paint wars.” 

“Yeah,” he remembered, he also remembered getting paint in his hair and having it there for weeks. “Those were fun. Then mom would come outside with Cora on her hip and hose us down.”

“God it was like a scene from the Beverly Hillbillies. I wonder if we could do it again.”

Derek pointed his spoon at her. “Ask mom.”

Laura gave him a crazy expression, “You!”

“No you, she's more likely to do something for you since you're going back to school tomorrow.”

“She likes you more though.”

“Bullshit, you ask her.” 

“Ask me what?” 

He and Laura turned around and stared at the their mother. She nodded at them to continue. 

“Mom,” Laura started, “Derek was wondering if we could have a paint war.”

Derek balked, “You asked first!”

His mom stood there, he could see her mentally weighing the pros and cons of something like this and she shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”

Then Laura went a step further by asking if they could invite friends.

“Sure, I’m not paying for supplies or helping clean up and there better be not paint with in a 100 foot radius of this house. Backyard- outfield area only.” 

Derek and Laura smiled. 

“And no, before you ask, I will not hose you guys off afterwards.” 

^^^

Laura sent a huge group message to almost 40 people that said come over at 1:00 and bring like 3-10 bottles of paint. NO OIL PAINT ALLOWED. Wear clothes that you don’t care about ruining. 

So, here he was, pink, yellow, white, black, green, and red paint bottles in tote. 

By the time he got there, most of his friends were lined up, guys all shirtless and the girls in tank tops and sports bras. 

What the fuck was going on?

“Alright, Stilinski,” Laura shouted at him, “Nice of you to finally show up! Here are the rules: Pair up if you want, teams are fine too, don’t use all your paint at once, no eyes, no face, no shoes, no shirts. In 2 minutes we hide.” 

“Ummm- okay.”

Stiles ran as fast as he could to the porch and pulled off his t-shirt and shoes. Then opened the paint and put them in his khakis and rolled up the bottoms of them so he wouldn’t get hot. He tried to hurry because everyone was waiting. 

Everyone was on a schedule tonight, everyone had school tomorrow. That thought hit him like a ton of bricks. 

In a Hunger-Games-Like style, Laura began counting down from 30 and he sprinted to stand next to Derek who was shirtless, of course, and wearing a bandana around his head like Rambo or something. 

“Team?” 

Derek looked at him and smirked, “Nope, I’m going to destroy you.”

He could feel his eyes get wide, and the blood rush to his dick as he looked at Derek with his predator like smile glaring back at him. 

Fuck.

He instantly moved to Scott. 

“Team?”

Scott nodded enthusiastically and then Laura shouted for everyone to run. 

Then it actually was like the hunger games, there was running and paint flying, and more running, and dodging the paint, and running. 

Then he was hidden behind a tree catching his breath, surveying the Hale property. 

The Hale house and property were older than the entire town, nestled by the preserve and in cul-de-sac that had newer houses built nearby but nothing too close to the Hale property. The Hales had acres and forest land and barn houses and old stables that were never used. It was beautiful and freeing and he could almost understand why Derek was so silent when looking out at the landscape. With all this land there was no one to talk to- no need to talk to anyone. He could entertain himself without any idle chatter. 

A human-like force knocked him down to the side, it felt like a lacrosse tackle but it hurt so much worse because he wasn’t wearing any pads to cushion the blow. He tried to recover quickly but was sprawled out on the ground and when he looked up he saw Derek, paint covering his face and torso climb on top of him.

Stiles’ arms were pinned to his sides by Derek’s thighs so he couldn’t fight him off but he struggled and squirmed as hard as he could. Derek just laughed and bent over him to get the paint out of his pocket.

This position wasn’t doing good things to his dick either. In fact, this position was really teaching him a lot about what his dick really likes. 

Derek grinded against him and grabbed the paint from his shorts. “Ah,” he exclaimed bringing the bright red paint in front of him, “here we go.” 

Stiles was laughing but thrashed harder to try and wiggle free. 

Derek tipped the red paint bottle over his chest. He was laughing and kind of screaming when he shouted, “Dont!”

Derek paused and looked down at him. “Why?” 

“Uh---” he stammered, “I, uh- I’ll lick you if you do it.”

Derek laughed, “Your hands are pinned, and you don’t have the reach to lick me, plus,” he smirked, fucking actually smirked, “I’ll lick you right back.”

He tipped the red paint on his chest and Stiles lunged forward to lick his hand.

Derek laughed and dodged the lick, but it also made him move enough for him to get an arm free, and the red paint smeared all over his chest.

Stiles screamed and then they were full blown wrestling each other, red paint covering their bodies completely. He didn’t know why he was still trying to lick Derek, but in a way he totally and completely knew why he was trying to lick Derek. Derek resisted him and kept his face and mouth away from him at arm's length with way too much ease.

It was fun wrestling, until it was exhausting, and then he just wanted to give up.

Just as he was about to say that he quit, Scott broke through the tree line and said, “C’mon guys!" The stopped. "Wait. Why are you wrestling? You aren’t even using any paint.”

He and Derek froze. Both staring at Scott.

“Umm, okay. Stop being weird and lets go.”

Derek looked down at him and gave him one last wink before he got off of him and ran towards the others.

Stiles tried to catch his breath. Fuck. The ground was so much more forgiving than he had initially thought. He pushed and pulled the grass and leaves under his fingers hoping that some sensory touch would ground him a little. 

Scott crouched down next to him, “Dude, what were you guys doing?”

Stiles closed his eyes, letting the grass pull him back to reality. “I have no fucking idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there was a song dedicated to this chapter is would be this could be anywhere in the world by alexisonfire. 
> 
> Also, the paint war thing is totally real and there are pictures of me covered in paint to prove it.
> 
> dantesinfernal.tumblr.com (catch me never talking about sterek, or teen wolf, or any tv show for that matter)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School has been kicking my ass this semester and I'm lucky to have gotten this far. 
> 
> This chapter is loaded with errors but I just had to finish it before I lost my mind.

The acceptance letters weren’t an exact science but it was known to come the week after spring break and early in the morning (which could be a huge lie, but nobody was taking any chances). Sure, everyone was aware that there would be students receiving emails well into next week, and the week after that, but the Californian collegiate system was notorious for this pattern of acceptance. 

Goodman was a gracious and loving teacher who told them they could keep their phones out the whole week. No texting, of course, but if that email came in the student was allowed to go to the hall and read it and then call their respective parent and gush for 5-10 minutes- Goodman’s words verbatim.

Torie got her email Monday at 9 am on the dot and got into Stanford. Of course. She was so fucking cheerful. She probably mailed them her essay with a fucking butterfly sticker on the bottom. He was going to ask her that, honestly.

Stiles was so nervous he could puke, his adrenaline was always pumping and every time he heard a phone buzz or ping he would feel the churning in his stomach. Maybe that’s why Goodman was being so nice. Scott was so worked up that he almost started crying this morning when he picked him up for school. His eyes were red and puffy like he had been crying but Scott said told him he couldn’t talk, it was going to push him over the edge if he really had to talk today because his future was actually on the line. Scott then proceeded to tell him that Kira couldn’t even come because she would vomit at the mere mention of school. 

Derek told him and Scott on Sunday through their group text not to text him until he got his acceptance letter because the vibration from his phone got his heart rate so high that it took an hour to come back down- but if either of them got into their schools, to tell him immediately. 

Lydia already knew she was going to Notre Dam because she was valedictorian, in the student counsel, and was technically going to graduate with enough college credits to be a sophomore. Allison wanted to go to UCSC. Which she explained was far enough away from her controlling parents but close enough to come home on the weekends and do laundry. These were all great schools but Stiles couldn’t help but feel like his was a little more unattainable than theirs- especially since his only real extracurricular was lacrosse. 

Stiles prayed for UCLA. He prayed hard. He knew Scott was going to be accepted into CSLA without any issue- he knew this because he knew Scott’s grades but Scott didn’t know this and that freaked him out and made him anxious. They were going to go to live in LA together, god damnit. 

Joel’s phone beeped, pulling him from his thoughts and he watched him run outside as quick as he could. Everyone else sighed and remained on edge.

Goodman stood up at her podium and paused when she saw Joel leave the classroom. “Class, please remember that you might not get the letter this week and it’s important not to freak out just yet.” 

She was speaking to all of the non-Torie’s in the class. All of the average, or, well, they were in AP English so, slightly above average students in her classroom. 

^^^

Derek’s stomach was so upset that the mere thought of food made him nauseous. It was a shitty combination because he was in a bad mood because he was hungry but if he ate he’d vomit it all back up. It was only Wednesday and he was already close to sobbing in the shower and regretting every B he had ever made. His father took care to say very little, no reassurance, no love you no matter what happens type of things. Laura handled this week the same, maybe a little less dramatic, but pretty much the same so his father knew the drill already. 

It was because he spent his 4 years of high school torturing himself with tons of AP classes so he could get into USC, it was his dream. 

Derek poured some cereal into a plastic baggie and his mother stroked the back of his head and moved down to rub his shoulders. 

“Just breathe, okay?” 

He could only nod, if he spoke he would cry. 

She leaned down and whispered in his ear, “USC is your goal, I know, but sometimes things change. I’m not doubting your ability to get into USC, I’m just telling you that no matter what, things will be fine.”

Derek nodded again and ducked out of the kitchen before his mother could see that he was on the verge of tears.

He hadn’t really told anyone it was where he wanted to go because he didn’t want everyone to feel sorry for him when he didn’t get accepted. It was his defense mechanism. He was assuming it was Stiles’ as well since he didn’t know where he was going either.

It was only Wednesday and the dread was settling in. About 25% of the seniors got their letters and he had not. 

Leah got a beep in 1st period AP Calc and ran outside. 

He and Stiles didn’t make eye-contact in 2nd period AP Government. 

Scott gave him the weakest smile in 3rd period AP Spanish.

Danny got a beep in 4th period AP English and ran outside. Derek almost jolted up with him but instead he grabbed his wrist as he walked past his desk and told him good luck before he went to the hall. 

Derek watched the clock, noting how much time had passed. He was nervous for Danny and he really just wanted him to get into Notre Dam- he’d at least have Lydia at school with him… a very small comfort, but familiarity nonetheless. Plus, if he was being honest, no one deserved Notre Dam more than Danny. 

Danny came back into the classroom after 15 minutes, eyes red and face splotchy. The teacher paused and asked if he was okay. 

Danny nodded, “I got in!”

Derek shot out of his seat and almost tackled him with a giant bear hug! “Danny!” He yelled in his ear, “YOU DID IT! Congratulations!”

^^^

Scott called him during 4th period AP Latin on Wednesday when everyone was anxious and strung out. He stepped into the hall to take it as fast as he could. He prayed for good news, for only good news, Scott McCall deserved good news.

Scott’s voice shook when he said, “Stiles.” 

Stiles held his breath. “Yeah, buddy.” 

“I got in.” Then he started full blown sobbing on the other line. 

He let out the breath that he was holding. “Oh my God, Scott, I’m so fucking happy for you.” 

Through the tears and snot he could hear him on the other line, “I get to leave this shitty small town. I get to leave, Stiles.”

“I know buddy,” he wiped at his own eyes, “I know.”   
^^^

Classes were tortuous to people who hadn’t gotten an email. He felt like he was losing his mind. He was so unfocused and mean that he couldn’t even stand himself. Whenever he was forced to be awake- all he could do was go to school and then go home to sleep. 

When Scott texted him and told him that he was accepted Derek was so jealous and full of rage that he couldn’t text him back for a full hour. Scott deserved to be accepted, he was just so jealous that he could relax.

His teacher was droning on about something unimportant to his actual life, like the how Emily Dickinson's poems were so much more than just poems when he felt his phone vibrate. 

He pulled it from his pocket and saw the email notification from USC. He bolted outside before he could even think about it. 

“Dear Derek S. Hale,

Congratulations and welcome to…”

He immediately closed out his app and sunk down to the floor, his head in his hands. He was shaking so hard but running on adrenaline which was making a weird combination in his nervous system. He still felt like he could puke or have diarrhea. 

First, he called his mom, who started crying as soon as she heard him say mom. His father was bursting with joy and said he wanted him to leave school early so they could celebrate. Laura called him a loser but then said in the most sincere voice that she was proud of him. 

He was going to USC. He was going to live in LA and go to his parents’ Alma Mater. His life was actually coming together. High School felt so far away from him. 

^^^   
Thursday was a blur because he was incredibly high. He had to be high in order to bear the thought of going to school and living with the anxiety of not knowing the fate of his future. Yes, he was being that dramatic. 

By Friday he couldn’t talk to anyone, he couldn’t bear having to hear another success or another defeat. His father even said he could stay home the whole morning if he wanted to. 

He took his father up on that offer.

Wednesday before lacrosse practice, Derek had walked into the locker rooms looking like he had been crying and Stiles instantly got up and walked over to him, it was such an intrinsic pull that afterwards he realized he was really in too deep. 

Derek said he got into USC, his parent’s Alma Mater, his dream school, the one he never spoke of because going there was so far-fetched. 

Stiles hugged him and whispered congratulations into his ear. 

Which was awkward and uncomfortable once he pulled away and it was only made worse by the whole lacrosse team watching them.

It was especially awkward when he could feel his lips against his neck. 

So this morning he was going to sit with his dad, leave his phone upstairs, and watch PBS kids with him like he did when he was little. 

His father lowered his newspaper and pointed toward the TV, “I can’t believe they still make new episodes of Arthur.”

Stiles stretched out with his bowl of cheerios, no milk, and rolled his eyes, “I can, it was a great show.” 

He watched his dad roll his eyes and lick his finger to flip to the next page.

His father’s presence was so calming to him. It was like he was under a blanket of his fatherly protection every time he was near him. And he could admit that the thought of not living with his father terrified him. That it was something that kept him up at night. Scott felt the same about Mama McCall. When you only have one parent to rely on, your priorities shift and you become single-minded when it comes to the care of your parent.

If his mother were still alive it’d be easy for him to leave because then there would be someone here to keep him from getting lonely. 

Stiles watched his father read. “You’re going to be okay if I leave, right? You won’t be lonely.”

His father lowered the paper again and faced him from the opposite side of the couch and glared at him, “Son, I know you think you are my whole world, and you are! But I do have things that I do outside of you.” 

“I’m just worried that you’ll be lonely.”

“I’m not going to be lonely. I’ll be keeping up with you and all your friends, I’ll be working, maybe I’ll even go to the gym. Stiles, this is a common thing all parents face- you should leave the nest if it means bettering yourself.”

He pulled up his paper and adjusted it to where it was before Stiles had interrupted him. “Then,” he continued, “when you’re done, you can come back home and live here again.”

That made him smile. “Deal.” 

The silence hung over them, Arthur and Buster drinking a milkshake in the background was the only noise in the whole house. 

“But what if-”

“Stiles, where is this coming from? Are you anxious about leaving? Do you not want to go away for college?” His father fully set down the newspaper, his finger still on the page he was reading and looked him in the eye, “You don’t have to go away for college. Please don’t think I’m forcing you to leave.” 

“Dad, no. I know, I want to leave, I do!”

“Then what’s the problem?”

He picked at the lint on the blanket. Making eye contact with his father might give away what he was actually thinking about. Because he knew the problem, would he ever say it out loud to his father? No. He could say, ‘Dad, I’m scared if I leave you alone you’ll start drinking again and showing up to work late and then halfway through my sophomore year of college I’ll get a call saying that you were in a drunk driving accident and then I won’t have parents. Or it could go the opposite direction and you’ll meet someone on match.com and forget about living in Beacon Hills when you’re in Aruba rubbing sunscreen on a woman who is trying to murder you and bury your remains in the ocean! But not before you sign her into the will’.

He could also mention that maybe he was starting to think he was really bisexual, not just only crushing on Derek, and the thought of getting the shit beat out of him by a stereotypical Californian dude was becoming a real possibility and it scared him a little. He could be on a college campus, walking home with a guy he likes and wind up in the hospital for the sole reason of liking that boy. 

Or that the reason that he was having these bisexual feelings was because of Derek Hale? That guy that he literally talks bad about every chance he gets? But also the one who he and Scott have been spending more time with and that holding his hand in public seems exhilarating and terrifying. And not to mention that he’s going to school at USC which is only 20 minutes from UCLA (on a good day).

He could mention that the thought of his mother not helping him move into his dorm or apartment makes him sick to his stomach. That he should be dropped off by his mom, dad, and little sister and that he should be excited to get away from them because they are crazy, loud, boisterous, energetic, fun, but instead it’s quiet and still and constantly silent and he’s so afraid it will drive his father insane. 

So he went with the easiest excuse, the one most palatable, the one that's actually possible, “What if I don’t get into UCLA?”

His father rolled his eyes. “Then screw them. UCLA isn’t your only option and you know that. You could go to the same school as Scott. You could go to community college. UCLA isn’t your only way of going to college.” 

Stiles just rolled his eyes back at him and picked up the spoon to munch on his cheerios. 

“Why don’t we go get breakfast? You can stop eating cheerios like you did when you were 10 months old.”

“Rude. Milk is gross and you know it.”

“I do.” 

There was a pause, Stiles focused on his cheerios and Arthur while his father stared at him expectantly. 

“What?”

“Do you want to go get breakfast?” 

“Not really.” 

“Okay.” Then after a beat, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course. But if you want breakfast we can.”

“How about I go pick up breakfast? You stay here and watch Arthur and eat your dry cheerios and we can both eat here.”

“That’s awesome because I just really don’t want to put on pants.”

He sighed. “Of course you don’t, son.”

His father got up to put on shoes to leave and as soon as he saw his father’s car pull out of the driveway and turn out of the neighborhood, he bolted upstairs to check his phone. It wasn’t like he couldn’t go check his phone when his dad was there, it was just the principal. He was trying to seem calm and collected in front of his father because his father worried about him way too much. Plus, if he was being honest, he heard his phone make the email notification noise almost an hour ago and wanted to check it out more than anything. 

He picked up his phone and clicked the home button to see that there was an email.

It was from UCLA Undergraduate Admissions. 

Oh fucking boy.

The previewed message on his home screen didn’t give anything away, no positive or negative connotation behind it. 

So he paced in his room, back and forth in a methodical pattern, trying to rub a hole in the carpet but also trying to dispel the feeling of dread in some way. 

“Okay,” he rationalized to himself, “dad will be home soon and you should really read it with him.”

Which was the smartest idea. Having a panic attack alone in his room while holding his phone would be a very immature move on his part. So instead he will take his phone downstairs and wait until his father gets home and then they can read it together. 

Okay.

Good.

Yes.

He grabbed his phone and walked downstairs to the front door and began pacing again and stared at his home screen. 

Time stood still and it felt like a year had passed by the time his father opened the door. Which scared the shit out of him. 

His dad jumped back, “Stiles, what the hell?” 

He didn’t say anything, just pointed his phone screen toward his father. 

He squinted to look at Stiles phone. 

“Oh boy,” his father muttered, “let me put down the food and we can open it.” 

“Will you just read it for me?” He twisted his hands in his shirt and struggled to stay still and not spontaneously combust. 

Stiles knew his father was anxious and worried, he could see it on his face. It wasn’t necessarily worried but it was more like he was seeing Stiles and worrying for him. 

“Sure,” his dad responded, trying to make himself sound upbeat. 

His hand shook as he swiped his phone open for his father and wordlessly handed it over to him. 

When his dad took the phone he watched him read the email intensely, searching for signs on his face that would tell him that he was in or out. 

In an instant, his father put down the phone and stared directly at his face. Stiles braced for the impact. His father had the knowledge of his future and just calmly stared at him.

He watched his father turn to pull out plates, forks, and napkins, humming peacefully to himself. “So, before we eat breakfast I want to tell you that I’m proud of you. Hell,” his father chuckled to himself, “I was proud of you before I read that email. But it’s just now hitting me how wonderful you are… and,” he watched the wild grin spread across his father’s face, “I sure am going to miss you while you’re at UCLA.” 

Then he was breathless.

Joy was something he wasn’t used to feeling. It was saved for those private moments, small moments, moments that were fleeting and only something he realized was joy, after the moment passed. But this, this feeling… it was consuming, it felt like it was going to crack open his sternum and pour out of him all over the kitchen floor. It felt like light would pour from his chest at any moment. Like warm sunshine on his face, like flowers covering his arms, the the wind roaring in his ears at the beach. 

He couldn’t really feel anything though. His eyes burned. He stood there stunned, his father facing him, his heart threatening to burst from his ribs and he swore he could see himself floating out of his body. But really, when the tears started pouring out was when everything hit him. 

His father enveloped him in the tightest hug and swayed back and forth with him. 

The crying was ugly, and happy, and, as always, a little sad. 

Sad because, his wish came true and he was going to UCLA, but his mom didn’t get to see it. She didn’t get to pull him into a hug and cry with him. And he felt that. He felt her loss with every milestone and it was exhausting. 

“Stiles,” his father whispered in his ear, “you did it.”

^^^

It was a little worrisome that Stiles would skip school on a Friday, but after this week, who knew what kind of rules parents had for their kids. Derek’s parents had pretty much told him to skip after he found out he was going to USC and Scott’s mom signed him out early after he got his acceptance letter also. 

They were all suppose to go to Theo’s house for a party because his parents were in San Fran for the weekend. 

“Hey nerd,” Danny said interrupting his thoughts, “what’s up?” 

Derek realized that he was staring at the chalkboard, mouth open, with his eyebrows furrowed- which was probably concerning Danny. 

He snapped out of it. “Nothing. What’s up with you?”

“Not a lot. You going to Theo’s tonight?” 

“Yep, I think so. Are you? Wanna hang out?” 

Danny’s eyes narrowed directly at him and he lowered his voice. “I’m with Ethan, you know.”

Derek shook his head, “No no no. Not like that. Just hang out.”

“Oh,” Danny smiled again, “Of course! Speaking of which, have you found some hot new guy to mess around with?” He winked seductively at him. Why was Danny like this?

Derek looked around the empty classroom, just to make sure no one was in there with them, “No, but, speaking of which, I have a question. Have you ever caught feelings for a straight guy?”

“No, but normally, if you’re gay crushing it means they’re giving off slightly gay vibes, you know?”

He was confused. “Not really.” 

“Okay, so,” and then Danny sat on his desk- getting comfortable for his story, “I had this guy come to me a few times, I called him my running buddy because he was literally always there before I went running.”

Something felt familiar about this conversation to him.

“He was having a minor panic, kissed me, yadda yadda. But the moral of the story is that I knew there was something slightly gay because I had a crush on him in 6th grade.”

“So,” Derek wondered if Danny could see the confused expression, “what does that mean?”

“It means that if you’re crushing on someone, they’re giving you a reason to crush on them- normally. If this guy was totally straight there would be no doubt in your mind and you would be telling me that you want to fuck a straight guy because you think he’s hot.”

“Okay, so, if I’m developing feelings, the other guy is giving me a reason to?”

“Yeah, like my little running partner.” He let out a laugh, “He may claim to be straight right now but in 10 years he’ll come out as bi, or fall in love with a girl and never reveal that part of himself to anyone ever.” 

“Who was it?”

“Dude, I’m not telling. I’m the secret keeper.

Then the bell rang and students began steadily pouring into class. Derek was caught off by Danny’s story. Not only about the implications of what he was saying but about the story itself. He could have swore he heard that story. 

Who told him about running with Danny?

Derek held out his hand and Danny smacked it and fist bumped, “Alright, see you later.”  
His teacher came into class and started droning immediately, which made it easy for him to go back to the question of who was running with Danny.

English propelled forward without any momentum. It was easy to zone out, to stop caring, to literally give up on this coursework. He was admitted to his dream school, AP tests were over and he had 1 final left. But there was still about a month left of school. He was dying.

He was also wishing that he could remember who went running with Danny. 

At the end of the day, since there was no Lacrosse practice, he ran into Scott by the fields where most seniors parked their cars, he smiled at him and shook his hand in their weird frat-boy, lacrosse player way without saying a word.

“Yo, you still up for the party tonight?”

Derek nodded, “Hell yeah.”

“I’m catching a ride with Kira, Stiles might be able to bring you but I have a feeling he’ll be pretty drunk, so you should drive your own car.”

“He’ll be drunk?” 

“He’ll tell you all about it when he sees you tonight.”

Derek just chuckled nervously to himself and Scott laughed, his voice echoing through the field. 

“Aight, bro.” Scott said saluting him and walking toward his car, “See you tonight.”

“Cool.”

^^^ 

Stiles was teetering on drunk 30 minutes ago but when he caught a glimpse of dark hair, and a dark shirt walk through the door, he slammed 2 more tequila shots and grabbed a beer. Lydia shot him a dirty look for the 2 shots and the became her normal self when he handed her an already cracked beer. 

“So you don’t ruin your manicure.” 

She reached up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, “That’s my boy.”

Then she slapped his ass, sending him on his way to ‘bump into people’. 

And he bumped.

Cornering Derek didn’t take long. He leaned against Theo’s mom’s hallway banister watching Derek with his elbows resting against it, his chest pushed forward looking so fucking hot, he threw his head back, laughing at whatever George and Isaac were saying to him. God, it was so unfair. 

Derek saw him after regaining some composure and nodded to him. Then he watched him clasp Isaac on the shoulder. He headed over to Stiles, smiling and eyes shimmering from what he was just laughing at. 

The music was loud so Derek had to move in closer, something Stiles could feel through his body and asked him, “Where were you today?”

Stiles mirrored his actions, mouth close enough to feel some heat, nose close enough to smell his body spray. “My dad let me stay home this morning and then I got my admission letter.”

Derek turned to him, wide eyes. “And…?”

He felt the grin spread across his face, “I’m going to UCLA!” he shouted into his ear.

Derek full body slammed him into a hug, his hands wrapping around his neck. He could feel the rumbling of Derek's voice against his shoulder as he spoke to him. “That’s where you wanted to go?” He asked incredulously. 

He shrugged. 

“Holy fucking shit! Congratulations Stiles! You fucking did it.”

Stiles was so fucking happy. “I know! I can’t believe it.”

Derek pulled away from him, hand still on his shoulder keeping him close, “You know what this means, right?”

Derek didn’t wait for Stiles to answer, “We’re going to be just a quick drive away from each other!”

Oh, he knew. He knew the driving times, where the dorms were. How it could even be possible for them to get an apartment together. The arts district was expensive but they could meet more in the middle. Maybe somewhere pet friendly.

Then the truth of what he was saying hit him. The terror that consumed him was powerful and for a second he struggled to keep his composure- even with Derek smiling and holding him close. He stared into his eyes, seeing the colors, seeing the pull of his eyebrows, the cute wrinkles he got when he smiled. It was when he realized he loved Derek and that this fantasy he was building was never going to happen. In fact, there was a good possibility that Derek was leaving this party with a girl and would be having sex with that said girl. 

He hated that girl.

Instead of crying and breaking down he squeezed Derek’s hand and told him he was going to get more drinks. Derek told him that he would meet up with him in a second and he nodded to him and tried to not feel like his heart was dying.

Because it wasn’t.

Sure, he couldn’t have Derek.

But he was going to UCLA.

So he took a shot of vodka and chased it with a beer.

This kind of drunk was a good kind of drunk for him. He really loved how friendly he got when he was this kind of drunk, it wasn’t like a falling all over you- trying to make out with everyone kind of drunk, it was like, he could pat someone's back without feeling awkward. He could give Torie that congratulations hug and let his fingers trail down her arm in a way that was purely congratulatory as she walked through the kitchen to get a beer. He could put his arm around Ally’s waist and rest his head on her shoulder while she laughed and shared her own congratulations with him when she passed through with Isaac- even Isaac’s eyes lit up when he told him about UCLA. He could remember when he let it slip to Isaac one morning after getting breakfast with Scott about how he wanted to go to UCLA. 

This was a fun kind of drunk. He wanted to always be this kind of drunk. 

Danny sauntered over to him with Ethan’s arm draped around his waist and gave him an enthusiastic congratulations with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, even Ethan gave him a nod of approval and said congrats. 

He hated that he wanted to kiss Danny. He hated that he wanted to use him in that way but he was the only guy he knew that was gay, and nice, and even though he had a boyfriend, the thought of kissing him still crossed his mind as they conversed in the hall outside of the kitchen. 

Before Danny and Ethan left, Derek came over to them, his drunk becoming a little more different than his. Danny fist bumped him and Ethan nodded to him. 

“Hey, congrats, Stiles. Seriously. UCLA is amazing.”

He was still in such a good mood over the acceptance into UCLA. There was nothing more to worry about! He was done with highschool and he could taste the freedom on his tongue. “Thank you. If I didn’t have you to study with before you ran, I wouldn’t have ever passed Biology. So I greatly appreciate your help.”

^^^

Derek’s inner monologue was actually screaming ‘holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck,’ and he was fairly certain that Stiles could see those thoughts running through his brain but he just smiled at him and Derek moved his face to mimic smiling back, even though he might have been showing too much teeth. 

“Hey,” his own voice sounded so weird to him, “I’m going to run to the restroom.”

Danny, Ethan, and Stiles said ‘Okay’ and he tried his hardest not to sprint into the master bedroom to vomit into the sink. 

After slightly dry-heaving into the sink, yeah, he was being dramatic. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and splashed water on his face and finally said the words out loud to himself. 

“Stiles was the running partner. Stiles made out with Danny. Stiles might like guys. There might be a chance.”

But of course, Stiles didn’t know that Derek liked him. Stiles thought Derek was straight, well, for the most part. 

So, he decided to pull it together and walk back out to where Danny and Stiles were talking and act completely normal. Or try to. 

Derek saw that it was just Stiles waiting for him. His heart fluttered. He saw Derek approach and smiled to him. “Let’s go get another beer.”

Derek may have yelled, “Hell yes.” But he really couldn’t understand how to control the pitch of his voice anymore. It was like he couldn’t really make his normal and somatic responses act like his normal somatic responses, they were no longer his. 

Stiles didn’t seem to notice anything crazy about him so he just kept trying to act normal. 

They walked to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, it was still warm and probably flat but he wasn’t going to complain. He cracked the tab and saw people outside doing keg stands and a bonfire being stoked by some drunk idiots. He saw Scott, Kira, Danny, Ethan, and Matt sitting around a table outside taking hits and immediately knew he needed to get high, 

He leaned close to Stiles, “Let’s go smoke.”

“Okay.”

^^^

Everyone was really high by the time he and Derek made it outside, and Derek was already weird enough so he was trying to distract him from getting high and getting like these morons. He didn’t need him getting too cross-faded on top of his weird attitude. 

Derek went straight over to Scott and asked for a hit and Scott being the traitor he was, gave it to him (not that Scott knew why he was a traitor). Scott scooted his chair over to make room so he and Derek could pull up a chair and sit with the group. Making this feel like a long term hangout instead of a just passing through type thing.

Derek took a hit and then handed the pipe to him and Stiles just stared at it for a moment before passing it down the line of people- realizing that he didn't want to get high. He didn’t want to risk losing this feeling of pure and utter happiness.

He still couldn't believe that he was going to UCLA. 

Scott was stumbling around his words, his hands in Kira’s hair and her feet resting lightly on his thigh. Kira was nodding along with him and bringing her face closer to his to close the distance. It was hard to watch because it was so intimate and so… he couldn’t find the words… it was something so tangible and he craved it but abhorred the idea at the same time.

But there was also something real. Kira’s school was 3 hours away from Scott’s, he wasn’t sure what they were going to do. Long distance? Break up? Wait, were they even together?

He shook the thoughts from his brain and noticed that Derek was staring at Kira and Scott also, probably wondering the same thing. Or not. Derek was hard to read sometimes.

While he was lost in his train of thoughts about Derek’s facial expressions, Derek shot up so abruptly that the table shook. “Dude, the fuck?”

Derek just stared at the ground. “I’m… I’ve gotta… pee.” 

Stiles watched him slide open the glass door and go inside. He was being odd.

“Dude,” Scott said to him as he nudged his ribs, “what’s up with Derek?”

“I don’t know.”

“He seems like… really sick or something.”

“Ohhh okay.” He said while shrugging his shoulders.

“You should go check on him.”

Oh, god, he was so excited to have an excuse to leave and follow Derek without seeming so totally super desperate and to leave this table full of incredibly high morons. “Okay, okay, I’ll follow him, jesus.” 

^^^

He was bracing against the edge of the counter, not daring to look in the mirror. That was too big of a risk. He felt like he was going to die and looking in the mirror might push him over the edge.

Yeah, he shouldn’t of taken that hit and then the other hit after that, he was buzzed- okay, he was drunk before he took that hit and now the weed was pushing him over the edge and he didn’t know if he wanted to vomit or lay down and just die. Thank god there was a bed in this basement/ horror story room.

Yeah, he was overcompensating. It was hard seeing Stiles looking so open, and happy, with that mirth in his eyes and that easy going complementing nature. His hands comforting him, his eyes following him. He was overcompensating because UCLA and USC were so close, he was overcompensating because school was ending, he was overcompensating because he wanted to feel good again.

Oh, fuck, he was so high.

He opened his eyes, still braced against the counter and stared at the floor and watched how his vision distorted the tiles and made it look like it was moving beneath his feet, like those scenes in movies where the earthquake hits and the floor waves up and down. When he looked straight ahead his legs refused to move in the direction he wanted them to and he had to work hard to keep from running into everything on the way to the bathroom, which took way too long to find- Theo’s house was ridiculous.

And his head would not stop pounding. 

He hears, “Hey dude,” but thinks he could be hallucinating and inventing that Stiles sounding voice. 

Instead of responding like a fully functioning human he decided to groan instead.

“Just checking to see if you were good.”

He was good but he wasn’t good, if that made sense. Like yeah, I’m fine but if an semi ran me over right now, that would also be great. “I’m okay, I think the weed hit me too hard, you know?”

“Yeah, man, happens to me all the time. You just need to lay down.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes!”

Stiles’ enthusiasm for Derek feeling better was making him feel better but it was hard when he did still feel like he could die at any moment. His eyes were having trouble focusing and he felt infinitely better if he just kept them closed. 

He couldn’t help but think of the story his parents told him when he was 13 to scare him away from drugs but wound up just giving him horrible anxiety. 

His mom and dad hung out with the same people in high school. They were out at a party after graduation and someone brought these joints. By this time his mom had left but his dad refused the joint- which was a good thing because the joints were dipped in airplane fuel and the guy who brought them and smoked them destroyed his brain forever. 

So of course he couldn’t help but think, ‘what if I feel like this forever?’

“C’mon dude, you’re lookin’ rough. Let's get you to lay down and you’ll feel better.” 

Derek tried to steady himself and also reassure himself that he could in fact walk to the bed. “Okay.”

Stiles gave him one of those big smiles that he saved for Scott and he just wanted to kiss him. “Atta boy!”

Then he felt Stiles’ hands maneuvering him towards the bed in the center of the room, his feet merely moving him but Stiles hands keeping him steady and telling his feet where to go . 

When his legs felt the baseboard of the bed he fell forward with his face pressed firmly against the duvet, his feet still touching the floor- he couldn’t find the energy to pull himself fully on the bed.Thankfully Stiles’ saw him struggle and pulled him on the bed from the opposite side- with a great effort, of course. 

It didn’t escape his thought process, no matter how stoned and drunk he was, that it was Stiles who was with him, who was helping him, who was comforting him. Stiles was taking time to make sure he was okay and he was cognizant enough of that fact.

And that wasn’t helping his crush. 

His eyes were still closed but he could feel Stiles climbing on to the bed with him sprawled out across the bed horizontally. 

He fought the urge to lay his head in Stiles’ lap. Really he fought his body with every amount of willpower he had in him because yes, drunk Derek thought laying his head in Stiles’ lap was A-OK appropriate when it wasn’t. And high Derek didn’t think he could actually turn himself around to lay on the bed like a normal person so Stiles’ lap would be the happy medium. 

This was the scariest territory he’d ever been in.

Yes, he was a tactile dude and touching was intrinsic to him. He always touched it was his thing. But this was dangerous. This was his crush, this was Stiles, this was the day he found out that Stiles had been messing around with Danny, this was potential energy in it’s most pure form. He could stay still and not set anything in motion or he could do something and get the kinetic energy moving. 

The kinetic energy could be Stiles hitting him and leaving.

But it was still kinetic energy

Man, fuck physics. 

He was so close to saying that out loud but for some reason his brain stop functioning and his eyes remained closed. He could tell that he was losing time and that everything was speeding up outside of the bedroom but he felt it stand still for some reason. 

By the time he opened his eyes he could feel that the party was over, that the dark in the room was because it was very late at night and not because someone had turn the lights off. 

He rolled over and saw that Stiles was asleep. 

That he had stayed with him.

It was so infuriating how much he liked him, how defensive, and angry he was when they first met and when he first started spending time with them but now, he could see how tender he was, how sweet he was, how he looked out for the ones he loved. How Scott’s feelings, his father’s feelings, Lydia’s feelings, were all placed higher than his own. 

He felt himself move close to Stiles’ warmth.

Stiles was nestled under the duvet, looking flushed and warm with his lips slightly parted and his bangs pressed against his forehead. His aggressive facade completely ruined by the soft, lovely boy nestled in the warm covers. 

Of course, he did the only logical thing that his (still) drunk brain could think of. He lifted his ass up, pulled down that duvet and slipped under the covers right next to him. 

Oh, boy. His heart was pounding with the thrill of it all. 

Stiles didn’t move and that allowed Derek to keep staring at him, illuminated by the glow from some lights that were on outside. 

He wasn’t trying to be a creep, he swore to himself, but he couldn’t stop his fingers from pushing Stiles’ hair from out of his eyes. He watched Stiles’ face for any change in expression or that he had disturbed him but he didn’t even flinch. So he buried himself deeper in the covers and put his hand on Stiles’ arm and tried to shut off his brain again. 

Even though his eyes were shut and he felt time slipping from him, his brain refused to turn off. And when he opened his eyes again he burrowed closer to Stiles and trailed his hand across his waist, feeling where his boxers met his hip bone. He just wanted to touch him.

There was a moment of lucidity when he realized that what he was doing was creepy but the drunk part of him couldn’t help himself. So when he trailed his fingers down his waist, he grabbed his hand that was resting on his thigh and kissed his fingers so delicately. 

He felt Stiles’ stir against his body and Derek froze. Stiles moved closer and wrapped his arm around Derek, until Derek was laying against his chest and with his hand resting on Derek's back to keep him close. 

^^^   
There was a bit of that early morning glow sneaking into the room when Stiles opened his eyes. He felt the weight of Derek on him and could feel exactly where Derek’s face was pressed against his neck, breathing shallow and even. 

It was still too early to officially wake up, so he pulled Derek closer to him, closed his eyes and prayed to be in this position when he woke up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I titled this I would title it "blast from the past" because A. I had some guy I use to hook up with friend me on Insta, and I saw a lot of people I went to highschool with recently because of a wedding. 
> 
> Also, I saw someone I had been in love with for years and I hugged him, met his new girlfriend and shared a few laughs with him. I'm saying this because I genuinely thought he was the love of my life and that we were going to get married and it's been years since I saw him last and it was weird because all I want is for him to be happy and it's so easy to think that the person you fall in love with in high school is the only person you'll ever have and you're wrong- life gets so much bigger after high school.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I titled these chapters I would title this one as angst.

“If I don’t get a fucking delicious chicken sandwich in my fucking mouth ASAP, I’ll literally crawl out of my skin and die.” 

“Stiles,” Scott said shushing him from the passenger seat, “You’re being way too dramatic.”

“Am I?” Derek watched as Stiles shouted at him from the driver's seat, his voice climbing higher octaves with each word. “Am I really?”

He was trying to keep the smile off of his face while observing them so Stiles wouldn’t turn around and start yelling at him. This had become one of his favorite hobbies lately because they are so interconnected. They are so in-tune to each other that there really isn’t much that one can say without the other thinking. 

For instance, Stiles will turn to get food at the exact moment Scott mentions he’s hungry. Or as soon as Scott gets goosebumps, Stiles turns down the air. They share neurons, he’s sure of it. They might be separated by parentage but somehow they became so intertwined that their neural pathways shaped to find each other. They were so strange, they were so totally connected and where ever one of them was, the other was right next to them or wasn’t far behind. It was like they shared the same orbit. 

“Derek,” Stiles snapped at him. “What do you want to eat?”

Scott turned to face him, “Ignore his attitude, you know he gets really bitchy when he’s hungry.”

Stiles was indignant, “I do not!”

Scott cupped his hand around his mouth a whispered, “See what I mean,” before rolling his eyes and turning to face forward again. 

Stiles glanced at him in the rearview mirror with a sour expression and Derek schooled his face into something that resembled pleasant so Stiles wouldn’t call him a traitorous bitch who likes Scott more than him. Which is something that has happened twice this week so it wasn’t impossible. 

“Derek!” Stiles shouted at him.

“Uh, I’m not really that hungry.”

Scott turned around fully to face him and glance over him with a worried expression. “Are you okay?”

Even Stiles’ expression turned to something that resembled concern even though he was still in a mood. 

“Why aren’t you hungry, Derek?”

“I don’t know.” He lied.

“So what do you want?”

“Stiles,” Scott pleaded, “Stop. He doesn't have to eat.”

Stiles had been antsy since the weekend- Derek could tell. So had Derek, though and everyone could tell- it made his stomach twist in response.

“Just get me a spicy chicken sandwich.”

Stiles smiled into the rearview mirror so Derek could see, “That’s my boy!”

The butterflies rose in his stomach. 

“Here,” Derek said reaching for his wallet.

Scott held up to fingers, telling him to stop. 

“It’s okay, dude. This one is on Raef.”

Stiles raised an eyebrow.

“He told me that because his other kids have credit cards, he wanted to make sure I had one also. He legit gets offended if I don’t use it. So, I gotta in order to make him happy.”

“Well,” Stiles started, “If spending money makes him happy, who am I to deprive him of that pleasure?”

Derek rolled his eyes. Scott probably did as well. 

The chick-fil-a worker took their order- he could have sworn it was someone on the lacrosse team- and they parked in the parking lot to spread ketchup and chick-fil-a sauce on everything before moving. 

Derek was nervous. 

Stiles and Scott were arguing over this podcast about history, or maybe it was revisionist history? He didn’t really care that much. He wanted to tell them about how he liked guys, about how he was bisexual. But they were arguing about Malcolm Gladwell having a narrow view of history even though he was brilliant. 

They were his best friends and they deserved to know.

Plus he wanted Stiles to get the hint. He wanted him to either leave him alone or make a fucking move.

Seriously, who just platonically cuddles with another guy the entire night?

“Hey, uh, guys.” Fuck, even his voice sounded higher than normal. 

Scott turned to look at him and Stiles eyed him from the rearview mirror, slowly chewing his chicken sandwich.

“You guys are like, really good friends of mine. And, well, I think you should know… Not because I’m ashamed of it, but because you guys deserve to know.”

Stiles stopped chewing. 

“I think I’m bisexual. I mean, I’m pretty sure that I am, but who knows I'm only 18.” 

Scott smiled widely at him. It almost looked a little manic, if he was being honest, and launched himself across the middle console to tackle him in a bear hug in the backseat. 

“Dude,” Scott said mashed against his side, “it’s so sweet you told us!”

He shrugged, “Thanks for being cool about it.” 

Scott grabbed his cheeks and looked directly into his eyes and then kissed him on the mouth. 

“Kira is my girlfriend but if I ever liked guys I would be all about you.”

“Hey Scott,” Stiles shouted from the front seat, eyes still on him from the rear view mirror, “Please don’t sexually assault Derek.”

In the mirror’s reflection he saw Stiles give him a soft smile and then look down. Derek could still see him in the reflection, even though Stiles wasn’t looking at him. There was something on Stiles face that Derek had never seen before and couldn’t understand. 

Scott laid his head on Derek’s shoulder. “I know that must have been scary for you to do.” 

He felt the tears sting his eyes and Derek resisted the urge to start crying.

^^^

Their weekends were getting a little more hectic. Not because of school but because of parents. For instance, his father thought that they needed to spend a whole day dedicated to picking out linens for his dorm. With linens came plates, forks, spoons, knives, napkins, and other items that Stiles didn’t really care about. 

“Why can’t I use paper towels?”

His father scoffed, “And kill the environment? Not while I’m alive.” 

Stiles rolled his eyes. 

He felt better when he saw Ally and her father buying towels together earlier when they were at Target. 

The parents were all collectively losing their minds about the whole college thing. 

Stiles pocket vibrated with a text from the Derek, Scott, and Stiles group text. 

Scott: Let’s see a movie tonight

Scott: We haven’t done that in forever 

Me: Okie 

He just wanted Derek to feel normal again. He barely saw him all week after Chick Fil a. There was an obvious avoidance. It could have been because he was embarrassed about last weekend. It could have been because he was busy. It also could have been because there needed to be distance between them. Stiles wasn’t out and now Derek was. 

Stiles wondered and wondered and wondered. 

He pocketed his phone and asked his dad if there was anything else his dorm could possibly hold.

“Son, once you’re living on your own you’re going to be shocked at how much you actually need.” 

“Oh, I don’t doubt it, Pops, really. But college doesn’t start for another four months.” 

“More like 3 months if you count the fact that graduation and all that will be a time thief.” 

“Dad, 3 months is like 90 days. We don’t have to buy everything today.”

“I know, but I want you to be prepared and I know you’ll want to hang out with your friends during the summer.” 

He pat his father on the back, “Well, yeah, but I promise that I will be home for most of those days!” 

His father took a deep breath, “Okay. You’re right.” 

Stiles smiled, looked at the basket full of bedsheets, lamps, and cutlery (yeah, his father used that word). Then glanced up at his dad and grabbed his hand. 

The thought rolled through his head: When did it become weird for him to hold his dad’s hand in public and how can he change that.

^^^

“Hey loser.”

Derek paused his game and rolled his eyes at Cora.

“Can I play?”

“No, it’s skyrim.”

“I’ll just watch.”

Derek eyed her suspiciously. “What do you want?”

“Nothing. I’m just really bored. Will you give me a ride to the galleria later?”

“Yeah, I’m seeing a movie with Scott and Stiles so that’s fine.” 

She was silent. And his character just got killed by a restless draugr. 

“So, what are you doing up at the galleria?” 

“Hanging with friends, maybe seeing a movie, maybe going to the bookstore to read. I’m not certain.”

His character came back and he was back at the beginning of the cave but pressed pause. “Who are you hanging out with?”

Her gaze was focused on picking at her nails. “Are you trying to parent me right now?”

Derek unpaused, “Not at all.”

“Okay.”

There was silence. 

“Can I ask who you’re going with?”

“Friends.”

Derek stared at the TV and resisted the urge to ask why she was being so hateful. “Okie dokie.” 

“You’re starting to pick up the Stiles and Scott mannerisms.” 

“I hang out with them all the time so it doesn’t surprise me.” 

“Okay, well, when are you going to leave?” 

“Like 8.”

“Cool, I gotta change.”

That was the weirdest interaction he’d ever had with Cora, but Cora had been acting weirder and weirder lately. Laura said that he was the same way when he was 15 also. That he was hateful and resentful and mean. Derek didn’t believe laura but oh well. 

He played Skyrim for another couple hours. Then his phone dinged. 

Stiles: Can u pick me up? My dad wants to change the oil in the jeep.

ME: Yea no prob. I’ll be there in like an hour.

Stiles: Mmmmmmk 

He paused the game and went up to Cora’s room. 

“Hey,” he said knocking on the door. “We gotta pick Stiles up so we need to leave in like 45 minutes.” 

Cora turned down her music but didn’t open the door for him. “Okay.” 

Then the music cranked back up and Derek took it as his cue to leave her alone. 

His mother passed by with a laundry basket pressed against her hip and said, “You were worse when you were her age.”

Derek pouted, leaning against the wall. “I was not.” 

“Oh yes, you were. Along with being mopey, angry, and spiteful, you would take about 6 showers a day and leave us with no hot water.” 

Derek was mortified. 

^^^ 

Stiles could not remember the movie if someone had paid him to. It was stupid- he knew that for sure. But he was so intensely focused on Derek’s arm hairs brushing against his that he thought he’d die just from the intensity of it all. 

He felt like he was in middle school again. This was becoming a recurring feeling for him and he didn’t like it. Middle school really sucked. 

Everything was so intense for him when it came to Derek and he didn’t really trust himself to be around him anymore. He thought about telling Derek that he liked him this evening but when he saw Cora in the car he restrained himself immediately.

But after the movie it was just him and Derek in the car waiting for Cora to meet up with them. Derek didn’t know where she was, he just sent her a text that said he was done and to come meet them by the movie theatre. 

He and Derek talked and laughed. They talked about how cool it was that they were going to be so close to each other. Stiles tried not to get overly excited about that. But he couldn’t help the sensations of ‘What ifs’ from boiling over in his mind. 

“Maybe we can get an apartment together in the city, you know?” Derek asked him, “After we have to live in the dorms we could get an apartment that’s between the two schools?” 

Stiles tried to remain as neutral as possible when saying, “Yeah, that’d be cool” but the voice crack at the end of the word ‘cool’ might have ruined that. 

He should tell him, he should tell him right fucking now!

They sat in silence, the radio barely playing anything. That need for sleep washed over him gently.

"Hey Derek?" he looked to his left to see that Derek’s eyes were shut. His breathing shallow and soft. The glow from the street lights outside cast a sort of heavenly yellow aura around Derek’s face and he couldn’t stop staring. 

What was it about Derek and the lights? Was it that he seemed more at peace while sleeping? Or was it that Stiles could unabashedly stare at him when his eyes were closed? He could drink up the imaged of Derek, see the softness of his cheekbones, the sharpness of his nose? His eyelashes? 

He had no idea but he knew that he couldn’t take his eyes off of him whenever he knew Derek couldn’t see. 

He reached out, careful not to be too forceful and stroked Derek’s cheek as gently as he could. 

He really couldn’t stop himself if he tried and he really didn't want to stop himself if he was being honest. 

But he didn't care. If Derek woke up and asked him what the fuck, he would say that he had a crush on him. He’d tell him right then and there. 

But as soon as he pulled his hand away, Cora was opening the backseat door and sitting down. 

Derek’s eyes fluttered open and he looked over at Stiles, then at Cora and started the car.

“Did you losers really take a nap in the car?”

Stiles heart raced. 

Derek glanced back at Cora, “Yeah, so what?”

Cora rolled her eyes and punched Stiles on the shoulder. 

^^^ 

When they dropped Stiles off at his house, Derek was practically buzzing. 

He felt Stiles touch his face! He felt it, he knew somewhere deep down Stiles felt something for him. 

And it was the best feeling in the world. 

But what sucked the most about this is that he had no one to tell, no one to be excited with him or for him. He was completely isolated in his crush on Stiles and that was horrible. 

^^^

Stiles skipped his last class before lacrosse because he forgot to do the homework and didn’t want to listen to his teacher bitch at him. He just didn’t want that to kill his vibe. The past couple of weeks had been great, graduation was close, summer was close, and UCLA was close. It was all becoming real and he hated that he was still technically stuck in this weird highschool prison system until May 31st. 

School was such a waste at this point and even lacrosse was a joke. All they did was run and do push-ups and listen to Coach cry about how he was going to miss them but wanted them gone as quickly as possible. 

The fact that there were teachers that were still assigning homework was laughable. Nobody was doing anything. Except Torie, but that’s because she wanted to please everyone. 

When he pushed open the doors to the locker room he could hear the sounds of talking. He wanted to announce that someone else was in there before they started shit talking or before coach embarrassed himself. 

He moved closer and was so close to announcing that he was in there but stopped when he heard Danny’s voice ring through the locker room. 

It was Danny and Ethan talking back and forth to each other. They probably skipped to just hang out. At this point in the school year, there was no purpose for school other than finals. But since everyone had their colleges secured and seniors could exempt 3 classes. Only a few kids had to worry about finals. 

Because he and most of his friends were in AP classes, there were no finals at all. 

He technically only had 2 more weeks of school because of this. 

Stiles thoughts were interrupted by Danny’s laugh. And he felt really weird that he was eavesdropping on him. 

“I think it’s cool that Derek is slowly coming out,” Ethan said.

“No, yeah, that’s actually really cool. I just love how I knew he was bi before anybody else.” 

“You have the best gay-dar.” 

“Ethan, it’s not gay-dar when he goes down on you every weekend.” 

“What?” 

Stiles wanted to cover his ears and back out of the room. He knew Derek was bi, he came out to him for crying out loud. But knowing that someone else knew before he did was kind of heartbreaking. 

“Ethan, sweetie, that was the guy I was seeing before I started dating you.” 

Stiles could tell that Ethan was becoming mildly irritated now, “So you guys were literally fooling around like 3 months ago?” 

“Yes.” Danny said with a sort of confused inflection.

It was hard to know what they were really thinking because he was standing behind a row of lockers eavesdropping but he could tell this was about to turn into a fight and wanted to escape. But another part of him needed to listen. Needed to hear this. 

He could feel his heart breaking little by little. 

“I think he had a crush on me. But now I'm with you so I don’t even care. Ethan,” he could hear Danny move across the tiles, “I’m with you now. Theoretically speaking, if Derek did still like me, I wouldn’t care.”

Stiles couldn’t help but think that Derek probably did still like him. 

Derek was probably secretly in love with Danny this whole time. He had no proof to prove otherwise at this point and he had just listened to Danny say that Derek would fool around with Danny whenever. 

Slowly, he crept out of the locker room, careful to shut the door silently behind him and then sprinted to his car as fast as he could and drove away, tires squealing behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't updated in a while because if I was typing anything on the computer and it wasn't somehow contributing to my education I felt bad. 
> 
> Life has been wild that's all I can say.

**Author's Note:**

> If there's anything that I should tag please let me know.


End file.
